Posts tagged ‘Housekeeping’

February 6, 2012

Blegh: When Single Moms Get Sick

Sick days

Sick Days by Half.Jak on Flickr

About two weeks ago, Daughter woke up at 5 in the morning and vomited all over the place. And so began a crazy day of her body emptying itself out courtesy of vomit and diarrhea that was on and off several days. It was a nightmare of a stomach virus and it had run rampant through the kids’ school even landing a couple kids in the hospital with severe dehydration.

It sucked Daughter pretty dry too, rendering her already tiny skinny little body into an even tinier and skinnier little body. I fought with her to keep her hydrated getting Gatorade into her in sips and when she tired of that, counting on ice chips. Food was iffy. But slowly she got better and ate more and drank more and now, she’s totally fine.

Last Thursday, I was sitting on the train on the way to work reading 1984 when suddenly I felt very very wrong. I was hot and sweaty and clammy and cold all at the same time. I yanked off my sweater and put the book away. I wondered why I was suddenly motion sick. I’ve read on the train lots of times. I focused on looking out the window and not puking. I felt pale and shaken when I got to work and right away told my co-worker what had happened and that I’d be in my office with my head down to see if it would pass.

A couple of hours later it was my turn to run to the bathroom and after that go home. I pretty much spent the entire weekend lying down either on the sofa or the bed. The only exceptions would of course be the runs to the bathroom. Especially Saturday. Oh Saturday you sucked so bad.

I actually fared better than my daughter in that I was not treated to the combo of body-empyting strategies she was. My body chose one and ran with it. Needless to say, I’m still a bit blegh. I’m eating bread and jello and drinking Gatorade. I’m sometimes hungry but often not. And honestly I’m scared to eat.

Getting sick sucks for everyone. For a single mom, it’s just beyond aggravating.

This weekend, the kids were with their father. And although I was relieved I didn’t have that worry to contend with, I was constantly agonizing about all of the things I usually get done those weekends of mine. Those are the weekends I stock up on groceries. Those are the weekends I do laundry. Those are the weekends I do some sort of major clean up project. And there’s the stuff I do every weekend too.

And here I was laying down.

Today I’ve come into work and there is so much work-related stuff to do. I just sat and plugged away and the hours flew by. I forced myself to take a break, this is it, and I really have to get back to it.

But I’m stressing because of all the time I lost this weekend and what a hectic couple of weeks I have coming up. This was the weekend I was going to study pretty in-depth for my first pre-calculus test on the 14th. I barely remembered to pay bills. I have to do groceries again and have no idea when that opportunity will come. The laundry. Oh my god the laundry. I wanted to get my taxes going. The house is a trashed mess, pretty much in the same chaotic state as Thursday when the kids came home. I’ve got to withdraw the money for the rent. And there’s other stuff that was so clear a few days ago and is now hazy and lurking in the shadows brought on by this illness.

Just when you feel you’re getting things on a schedule, a routine is emerging, and things are clicking you get swiped and too easily things get derailed. The same thing happens at work. I was gone for two days and I have come back today to towers of things that need to get done two weeks ago.

Hi my name is Sisyphus and this is my rock and that’s the mountain I need to get it up.

November 29, 2011

Post-Thanksgiving Pre-Christmas Nesting

Home is where the Heart is
Home is where the heart is” by Linda Yvonne on Flickr

It’s a weird time of year for me. Exhausting and exciting. Tiring and titillating. Wearisome and whimsical.

Lately, the condition of my home has really been rubbing me wrong. Every room in the house has a mess in it of varying size and degree. Some parts of the house don’t smell great. Walking through the house is somewhat of an adventure as you’re likely to either run into or step on something if not do both.

Cleaning out for the garage sale was a big help but it wasn’t the complete answer. So I’ve kept at it.

Sometimes, it’s been a very frustrating thing for me. When you have children especially, housekeeping is truly a Sisyphean task. And there have been moments where this sort of realization has smashed into me and left me frustrated and even depressed.

It’s something like I’m moving the fifth load of laundry into the dryer and am suddenly horribly coldly aware I’ve done this four times in one weekend already and I will likely do it again in another day or two. Horrible. Why. Am. I. Doing. This.

And yet there are moments of redemption too. Brief ones. But you have to clutch to those because the other ones will drive you mad.

Moments like this past weekend where I was busting my ass to get my kitchen beautiful again. I mean, I went to bed at 3 in the morning on Sunday, from cleaning the house ok? It’s still not done, not even close, but that’s not the point of the story.

The point is I was working on the kitchen and I was taking things down from the window sill to wipe it down and at first I thought, Why am I even bothering with the window sill? No one cares about the window sill. And then I suddenly sort of changed moods and switched gears. Suddenly I was doing something to give my loved ones a nice home, one similar to what I had growing up.

And that felt good. And that felt like a good motivator. And I rode it till 3 in the morning. And I’m still riding it because I know it’ll (most likely) eventually evaporate.

But I think to counter the eventual feel good vibe evaporation (quite the scientific term, believe you me) I need to ride it long enough to devise a system. Or maybe not even devise but re-implement.

Like (practically) every good female on the internet, I have been seduced by the FLYlady. I’ve toyed with her process and have had varying degrees of success. Mostly I have two big problems with it– it’s not compatible for a single full time working mother of three children and I really just can’t ever finally love housework. I know she says it’s about finally loving yourself but I beg to differ. I just won’t go into it all right now.

The thing is, whether I like her or not, whether I have the time and patience to put her system into effect completely at my house or not, there is one basic part of FLYlady’s system that works– routine maintenance.

My mom is a domestic diva. She is of the old school lineage that truly takes pride in a home’s appearance. I remember the house always being clean, or at least smelling that way. To this day, when my mom brings something she’s laundered at her house, it always smells a million times better than my laundry and it lasts way longer too. My mom has told me, in a million ways, that essentially FLYlady is right. Cleaning your house is something that has to be done every single day. Like brushing your teeth.

You know how you wouldn’t leave your house in the morning without brushing your teeth? My mom believes you shouldn’t go to bed at night without cleaning something in your house, preferably a lot of somethings.

Even though it’s still hard for me to admit it, Mom’s right. And that’s where the program comes into place. I actually had a house I was proud of a while ago. Which is funny because it was also the time I had a body I was proud of and lots of people out there would say it’s not a coincidence.

And the crazy part is this actually happened during a time in my life where I was a single mom.

I’m unhappy with my home and my body these days. They both feel dumpy and frumpy and neglected. But this post isn’t about my body, it’s about the house. So I’m going to start making up my lists of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. And I’m just going to keep riding the wave into a more standard program of routine maintenance. It worked so well for me once before, I know it can work again. And the kids are older and can join in more ways than they were able  to two years ago.

So that’s where my mind’s been these days. With my home and putting some heart into it. What about you?

By the way, random question but when should I open up Tinsel my Christmas Pig?

August 25, 2011

Heading into August’s final stretch

I will defeat you She-Ra!

Well, it’s the last week of August and the last week to work on the goals I set up when the month started. I figure I’ll refresh us with some of these, update you on where I’m at, and lay out my plan for the last week.

Financial

As I’d mentioned in a previous post, the bulk of Eldest’s birthday party expenses were associated with a reptile show that was a no-show. This left me with $250 which ended up being absolutely necessary to carry me over the gap between when I would’ve normally gotten child support and when I actually did get child support. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

I’d challenged myself to hit 8 No Spend Days this month. Well, I’ve got 7 so far! I am pretty happy about this I have to say. I look forward to challenging myself again next month with a couple more days perhaps. It really helps to plan ahead, let me tell you. It also helps to just stay home and relax. Amazing how affordable that is!

I really do like the two account system although, I do confess things got a bit tight and I had to switch to the bill account until the child support dust settled, but that lasted only a few days and I’m back to the initial set-up: Credit Union for spending and ING for bills.

As regular readers know, the Income Deduction Order is working. The first amount was cut from his paycheck Friday, August 12 and I deposited the check yesterday. There was a gap in income then from when he normally would’ve paid me something (that same Friday) to yesterday. But, the gap was worth it because I know I got more this way than had he been able to choose the amount given to me. I need to set up for direct deposit. I have the form all filled out in an envelope, stamped, and ready for the mailbox on the way out. I doubt it’ll go into effect before they cut the next check but hey, I’m working on it!

Since I did get some money from the deduction, I’ve arranged for $575 to go into the different savings accounts and I’ve set aside $59 to pay off one of my low-balance credit cards next week when the funds transfer. YAY!

Personal

It looks like working out is going to be a September thing. My friend bought a Groupon for six classes at a circus arts school. They’re letting her split it so she and I can go together. She’s eyeballing something called high-flying yoga. Not to be outdone, I found a Groupon for pole dancing classes at a studio by my house. She went and bought that one too. It was only $29 and they have all kinds of hilarious classes—even some that have nothing to do with a pole or disrobing or laps. The best part of both of these options is they have very flexible schedules. The pole fitness studio is even open until 9:30 on weeknights!

As I predicted, with school starting for the kids this past Monday prepping the night before has become a must-do. And it’s paid off. I don’t know why I know this consciously and yet struggle to do it. I know this is common after all it’s why people smoke cigarettes or eat a box of Swiss Cake Rolls in one sitting (god I love those).

Following the success of our first family meeting, I’m going to schedule another one the first Monday of September which is Labor Day. I think it’ll be good to check in with the kids and how their new school routines are working. We’ll also most likely have to discuss extracurricular activities. This is something my mother and brother have traditionally helped with financially. I never asked, they just really wanted to do it for my kids. But this year, I’d like to contribute financially to this. Eldest has already expressed a desire to try out for the Primary basketball team and Daughter has told me she really wants to do ballet again this year.

So the girlfriend outing didn’t happen this month and it’s not likely. But I guess I’ll be compensating with the pole dancing and trapeze-flying in the next few weeks.

As far as books, most of you voted for Bossypants as my next read and it will be—after Posionwood Bible because that’s due at the library first and I can’t renew it. I’ve been reading it on the train every day and already love it.

As you know, things have gotten pretty exciting at this blog this month what with all of the mentions everywhere and most recently the nomination at my local news site (which is hilarious considering I’d said I wouldn’t ask for votes and I promise you, I’m really trying not to). As a matter of fact, I may even break a previous record for traffic to this blog in one month. The funny thing is that particular month was a freak month for me and was completely due to the Facebook child abuse campaign that asked everyone to change their profile picture to their favorite childhood cartoon character. People came flocking to this blog for She-Ra pictures. They still do! It was by far my highest spike in traffic and this month, I might match it or beat it without a freak Facebook campaign skewing the results.

I should mention I’ve begun crocheting the Alaskan Nights afghan for my mother. I promised this her blanket last Christmas. It’s so beautiful but I’ve already worked myself into a mess. I only copied part of the pattern apparently and returned the book. And I am getting confused without a photo to guide me. So far, I like what I see but I’m in a weird part of it right now and not really sure if I’m doing it right or what.

I have to say, I am really liking the fact I’ve been on top of the goals I set out for myself this month. I worry that maybe I’m boring you guys but you have to know, this has been tremendously helpful to me in staying on track and staying focused. Not to mention, I actually get to prove to myself that I’m accomplishing things and not just meandering mindlessly day to day.

What about you? Are you looking at closing August smoothly or are you kind of freaking out a bit? Do you create and track goals or do you just fly by the seat of your pants?

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