Problem One: Blowing the Gift Budget Every. Single. Time.

Ah, gifts. These are really tough for people with the deadly combination of loving to shop and loving to give. If you’re the type of person who absolutely loves to help someone else shop but fall apart when it’s time to spend on yourself you most likely have a struggle with keeping gifts under budget.

First things first– get a realistic grip on your gift spending. If it feels like the right amount when you spread it out across the year, it’s the right amount. If it feels way too high even when you spread it out across the year into monthly chunks, bring it down. Accept whatever the real amount needs to be.  The bottom line is if every year you look and you’ve spent $1200 on gifts, you need to set aside $100 for gifts period, end of story. No occasions to celebrate in July? Don’t delude yourself into thinking you can use the gift money for something else because you will be pressed in August when you have four birthdays to deal with. If deep down you know the number is too high because you’re just being extravagant to be extravagant, you’ve got to wrestle that demon and whittle it down to a reasonable number. If it’s because your circumstances just don’t allow you to spend as much as you want, you’ve got to accept that too.

Now that you’ve wrestled with the real and true and livable gift budget, I think it’s time we all truly embrace the one solution that just makes sense– the gift closet.

Oh, the groans! I can hear them, you know. But seriously, the gift closet makes sense (and cents, ha). I think it really is time to put this concept to the test. How many times have I gone into the store not looking for anything in particular, finding the perfect thing for so and so, not buying it because there’s no occasion coming up to give it to them and I can’t be giving things just because, to then not find a damn thing when it IS time to give them something?

There are certain things in life that are highly probable at least once a year. This is my list:

• Your loved ones will have a birthday
• You will celebrate Valentine’s Day one way or another
• You may celebrate Easter one way or another
• You will have at least one person deserving of a Mother’s Day gift
• You will have at least one person deserving of a Father’s Day gift
• You will celebrate some sort of holiday in December
• Someone will have a baby
• If you have children, there will be birthday parties
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a hostess gift for
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a thank you gift for
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a congratulations gift for

The thing is, these somewhat predictable events will always come around when you have the least money available for them. Not only that, but the stores will instantly hide all of their good stuff too. So clearly, the only real solution I can see is year-round shopping. You can make this as haphazard as you want or as neat and organized as you want. My idea for myself is to maintain some sort of list I can access with my phone so I can check really quick if I’ve already got Mutant Wino’s gifts covered for the year or if something’s missing because I just found the most perfect thing for him at the most perfect price. And even if he is covered for the year, I might get it anyways because there’s next year. As long as the gift closet doesn’t turn into some out of control clutter beast, I really do think this is the answer for us gift-budget-busting gals. The trick is to not put it off. You find something, it fits the budget, it fits the closet, do it. Make it a point to go gift shopping once a month so you’re not tempted to paint yourself into a corner two months from now.

There are some gifts that are classics. There are gorgeous baby items in neutral colors deeply discounted. You can find some great deals on great gift basket shelf-stable items like wines and gourmet foods (check the expiration date before buying). Keep an eye on the clearance section of department stores for discounts on classic home gifts like frames, vases, candles, and so on. Check the kids’ department for discounted books. Toys R Us constantly marks down toys too– maybe avoid the more trendy pieces and stick to classic characters and games.

Even those of us who make things can benefit greatly from a gift closet. How many of us have those gaps in the calendar when no one’s celebrating anything and suddenly it’s everyone’s birthday and right after that is Christmas? Make a gift every month for the closet. If a pattern catches your eye, go for it and add it to the gift closet. You can even turn this into one of those annual challenges!

What do you think? Any strategies or tips for keeping the cost of giving gifts down that don’t include the classic, “Instead of buying a gift, give the gift of time”? Share!

It turns out I couldn’t take a helpful picture of the closed box because then you’d all have my address and I really can’t have unexpected guests you know? But as promised, I took helpful pictures of what was inside the box.

Ooooooooooh, the box is now open! By the way my darling Secret Sister, if there is such a thing as too much purple, I am certainly not aware of it nor am I inclined to become aware of it any time soon.

I pulled away the tissue paper and found this! And then I went, “Ooooooooooh”

A really neat Afghans magazine. A fabulous handmade case for my crochet supplies. A tape measurer key chain. A super cute little scarf (someone’s been reading about my De-Frumpiness project perhaps?). A beautiful ball of yarn. A little packet of Raspberry in Paris Rooibos tea. A gorgeous (handmade too?) necklace. And four postcards from Toronto!

Ok so I’m sure you could call it a knitting case but I’m going to be selfish and call it a crochet case because that’s what I need. This is the case unfolded. It’s genius! It even has a little pouch for a tiny pair of really cute scissors and a really pretty pendant. The little coffee beans are too cute! It’s so happy and so me!

So after I fondled everything properly and realized my Secret Sister’s blogging identity wasn’t revealed, I looked at the return address for some help. The name sounded really familiar and I went to Carla’s original Secret Sister post where she had linked up all of the participating sisters and lo and behold there she was at number 18– Joanna from That Thing I Made. She was familiar because I recently discovered her when Carla linked to her and Susan from Food Allergy Chronicles because Susan (Joanna’s neighbor) had drawn Joanna and left her basket at the door! I think she may have been the first Secret Sister revealed.

It turns out Joanna share a love of purple and the girl crochets too! The thing that sets her apart though is she is one of those super versatile all-around crafters that can apparently do anything.

So thank you my lovely Joanna. You’re a sweetie!

So instead I’m just going to throw up a sneak peek at the package I sent to my Secret Sister as part of Carla’s Secret Sister swap. It’s been years since I’ve swapped and I’m definitely rusty. My package cost as much to ship as it did to put together. I used to be much better at keeping the shipping costs low. I also felt very unsure shopping this time but I really did do my best. I read her survey no less than six times and I lurked on her blog a lot. Even though the little questionnaires can give you a good idea of the person, getting a feel for them is totally different. I think she’s supposed to get it tomorrow.

By the way, I don’t think I’ll ever use the post office again– at least not without comparing to UPS first. They wanted to charge me almost $10 more than UPS to ship it with NO guaranteed delivery date, no tracking information, and insanely rude customer service. No thanks.

Edited to add: I received word about two hours ago that a box arrived with my mail. A box! How exciting! I said to Stallion (Boyfriend’s official blog nickname) “Take a picture!” and he said, “Of the box?” and I said, “Yes! Of the box! But don’t show the sender, I want it to be a surprise! Well, if it’s what I hope it is, which I really hope it is because I could seriously use a pick me up today.”

So he took this:

Is there a Secret Sister package inside? Or something else possibly not as exciting?

In case you’re wondering, that’s pretty much the most unhelpful picture one could take of a box. I can’t even read the mysterious blue sticker in the corner! I asked if he’d been so barbaric to peel off the address information and he exclaimed rather exasperated that no, he just flipped it upside down. What!? Upside down!? You know what would be super horribly embarrassing? If it was some sort of really mundane delivery that I forgot about or something. Is that blue sticker Canadian? Or British? It doesn’t look Domestic but what if someone is trying to throw me off!?

If it is my Secret Sister package, I promise that I will take proper unfuzzy and very helpful pictures– of the box and even the contents. If it’s not, I will take a picture of me very embarrassed looking.

I was finally told this week that my job was safe, I was “protected.” I have no idea what that means but it’s good enough for me. If they didn’t lay me off now, I doubt they’ll do so in the next round in July as that’s even closer to the conference. After the conference, I get to worry all over again if that sort of talk is still around come the end of the year.

And it’s little statements like that one that sort of floor me on how quickly time slips through our fingers. Good thing and bad thing right?

These next couple of months are the end of my slower season– personally and work-wise. Birthdays start pouring in, the conference is in November, class starts up again (I wanted a summer one but it was cancelled), and everything will turn into high stress time all over again. At least it’s only half the year right?

How are you all doing with the Hydration challenge this month? I’m getting better little by little. I thought I could start strong but it wasn’t happening. I have this sports bottle at work and it says I should drink 3 of them with water every day. So far, I can clear one for sure. Today, I even finished it off by noon. But I just can’t seem to get down the second one before 5. I’m trying though. I figure if I can get two down at work, I’ll have a much better shot of meeting the water requirement. Once I get home, it can get harder but I do tend to do more chuggings at home.

I’ve been crocheting a lot the past couple of days. I found a pattern for a really pretty shrug. So I tried it out and it worked up really fast and really pretty. So much so I was able to start a second one yesterday and I’m halfway through with it today. I basically only need three Mother’s Day gifts– my mom, my aunt, and my grandmother. The shrugs are for the first two. I’ll buy my grandmother something this time.

I should get some money this weekend so that’ll be good. I can shop for the Secret Sister swap. For the gift I’m making her, I do need to buy some yarn because I don’t have her colors in my stash. I’m excited about it because I finally got an idea. I was a little stumped for a while but I had a breakthrough so now I’m all ready.

Ok I’m going to make a really silly little whine right now so just humor me please. This weekend will be the third weekend in a row the kids are with me. And I’m worn out. The past few weeks have been some of the most stressful weeks I’ve had to go through in a while. They have also been extremely busy weekends. The Boyfriend works on weekends so it’s not like I can say “Hey babe do you mind watching the kids so I can get out for a breather?” and my mom does so much for me during the week, asking her to watch them on the weekend is unfair too.

Anyways, it’s sort of thrown me for a loop and it’s taken its toll the whole thing of the stress and no break sandwich. But I remedied it with a date night for tonight. Avengers, assemble! I really want to see Dark Shadows too but one great movie at a time, right?

I’m reading again. That slowed down for a bit too. I’ve only read 12 books this year which puts me 5 books behind my goal of 50. I don’t think I’ll make it this year, but I’d like to get close at least. Right now, I’m reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I’ve got The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes & Nocturnes (New Edition) (Sandman New Editions), The Sandman, Vol. 2: The Doll’s House, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!, and Dance Dance Dance waiting for me at home. Plus there’s a bunch of Young Adult stuff I need to catch up on– especially all the Rick Riordan books that have piled up. And I’ve got six more books in the library request system that are more popular and harder to get a hold of but should slowly make their way to me.

I can’t believe it’s Mother’s Day weekend already. For all of you mothers out there, have a beautiful weekend! I’ll be thinking of you.

I bombed the final. I walked in there and realized I left my calculator at work and then I proceeded to blank out. I left 6 questions blank (no multiple choice) of the 25. I was doubtful on a few more. So yeah. That sucked.

But I got in the car I had my little cry and then I went shopping. Didn’t do too badly. I bought a dress for the Communion the next day and Daughter some sandals that fit her for her dress and I bought myself a beautiful purse. I spent about $60 total so I’m pleased as punch.

Communion was beautiful and emotional and my little one looked so big and grown up in his navy blazer and white linen pants. The Ex was there with his girl and his side of the family. And I was fine. I had a huge smile on my face because I was one proud mama and there was nothing they could do to take it off. I even took a photo with Eldest and Ex since the photographer offered. My mom had a really nice brunch waiting for us with a gorgeous cake and I would love to share photos but the camera is at home and I haven’t uploaded anything yet. There is a super cute shot of Eldest and me that I adore. I’d love to blow it up.

Sunday we went to the ice skating rink for a birthday party and that really made me sore and exhausted.

Now it’s Monday. And I have found out my division did NO layoffs on Friday. Unfortunately, it was not because our division is to be unaffected, but because Those Who Are in Charge were given an extension to modify the list of people to be cut or something like that. So back in limbo. The difference is this time I truly don’t care. People are really angry about the way they’ve handled things and I was too but not anymore. Now I’m just too tired and burnt out and I’m so worn out mentally that I don’t even care my life is on pause, I actually welcome it as a breather.

Anyways, my little shopping trip did give me a case of the wanties so I thought I’d have fun with it and window shop. Make it my Top Ten Wanties List in case someone is clueless for Mother’s Day but mostly because I want to and it can be fun.

Top Ten Mutant Supermodel Wants

1. Vogue Knitting 2012 Crochet– It comes out tomorrow, it’s $7 and it’s chock full of gorgeous projects.
2. Betsey Johnson or Betseyville-- First of all, never ever anything full-price from her please. The purse I bought myself was actually a Betseyville purse but I got it at Ross so I paid nowhere near retail. As much as I love Betsey, I’ll leave it to other girls to pay her retail prices. I’ve seen her jewelry marked down at places like Nordstrom Rack. Betseyville purses are always to be found in Marshalls and Ross. And lots of her other stuff can be found in those stores too. Her shoes usually end up in DSW or something like that. I’ve even seen her clothes at Marshalls, the pajamas and undies at least.
3. Shoes– I need shoes in the worst way– especially the basics. I love some good old fashioned pumps, closed toe or peep toe at most. Anything bigger and I feel like my toes are sprawling out over the edge and it’s gross. But I also like flats and would like more of them– especially the ballet style. When I say the ballet ones I mean the ones with the elastic all around the opening of the shoe that you can scrunch up the shoe and stuff. Love those. The other ones almost always end up hurting me.
4. Hair Stuff– I would love some hair stuff. Clips, barrettes, pins, combs, bands, whatever. I find myself leaning more towards romantic styles like pin-up, flapper, or bohemian. The girlier the better really.
5. Lush– Freaking Lush. I miss Lush so much. It’s one of the first things that went out the window when the money evaporated. I used to indulge in something from Lush every once in a while. Now I can’t even remember the last time I reveled in their yummy bath stuff. When I was really into them, the main product I would buy was the bath bombs. Something about those products, and other bath products really, just make me want to be sure I set aside time for a bath. When I got super frugal and stopped buying myself the bath stuff, I stopped taking baths too. Showers only. That is so not like me. Whether it was a bubble bath or salts or oil, I would draw myself an amazing bath all the time and melt into it with a book (or even knitting swear to god) after the kids were in bed. Of course, I’m not a bath elitist. I don’t really care if it’s from Lush or not, if it’s a bath product I’m super happy. It’s just that Lush is for me the ultimate in luxurious bath time spoilification. And since this is a top ten not mediocre ten, there you go.
6. Jewelry Holder(s)– The last time I had a legitimate jewelry holder it was the bright red jewelry box the thieves easily snagged off my dresser and took with them a few years ago. Bastards. Now I know better and keep my good stuff carefully hidden all over the place. But the thieves were smart and they left behind pretty much everything that was costume. And since I don’t have much money, most of the jewelry I have gotten since the robbery has been costume as well. This means, I have a lot of costume jewelry. It’s mostly thrown in a drawer. I also have some of it in a tea tin, some more in a little glass container that I think is meant for cotton swabs or something, and strewn on the dresser. So a cute jewelry holder thingy, or three, would be great. And you know what? I have seen so many adorable versions of this sort of thing, I’m not linking to any examples because I’ve thought they were all adorable.
7. Tops– When I changed sizes, the first thing that had to go was pants. Pants were downright painful to wear because they were too small. When I’ve shrunk in sizes, they’re embarrassing to wear because they’re too big and slip down all the time. But the one thing I cling to for dear life is tops. What a mistake. Not that long ago I finally caved and bought a few tops in my new size, a medium, and was astonished. They looked so pretty! Well at least the more adult tops, the bigger ones. The tighter cut t-shirts need to be a large. For t-shirts I like the funny and cute graphic ones more than your typical plain tee. Bonus points if it’s nerdy or geeky or whatever. And despite the fact I bought a few tops, it was five and five tops isn’t enough. So I would love to move away from my too small stuff and into my more flattering bigger stuff. That’d be great.
8. Frames– I love art, I really do. I have some artwork and photographs stashed in my storage closet waiting for frames. I even have enough kid-friendly art to make them an entire kid art wall in the play room. But I need frames. In all sizes, even those funky ones like 10 x 14 or 11 x 17. I even need a big movie poster frame for this great Curious George poster I have. So yes, frames. Frames would be fabulous. I don’t care about style or color because I mix it all up anyways.
9. Accessories– I had a lot of fun this year with the Accessories Month in the De-Frumpiness Project because it really took me out of my comfort rut zone. So I’m totally open to accessories of all sorts. Scarves, pins, bracelets, necklaces, whatever. I would also tie in make up and nail stuff into here because to me, it’s the whole package. You know those Sally Hansen Nail Polish strips? I’d love to try them. All that kind of stuff is awesome to me. Heck I even need makeup brushes in a bad, bad way. What can I say? This happens when you neglect yourself for years.
10. Crochet Stuff– I really do love to crochet and it’s something I intend to hang on to forever. I love the portability of it and the neatness of it when it’s in progress. I love the finished products. I love the flexibility. I just really love to do it. With crochet, all you need is a hook and some yarn. I’m not picky about the types of yarns. I can always use more hooks. All sizes, all types. I’m happy and carefree that way. And of course there’s extra fun stuff in crochet like crochet hook cases. And there are some great crochet books too, in addition to that amazing Crochet magazine issue up there at the top spot.

So there we have it. I hope you had fun window shopping. It’s so fun to just look at pretty stuff some times. What are your Top Three Wanties right now?

I’m breathing a little deeper but still have my guard up.They haven’t done any cuts at all in the division and the two bosses are getting together now at the other office so they might do it together. It’s all so very confusing.

I’m anxious about the final. Studying has been close to impossible and I feel like everything is evaporating. I’m trying so hard to focus and retain but it’s not working too well. I think I’m just going to spend the next 15 minutes winding down and then I’ll review again on the train and when I get to the school.

After I’m done, I think I’m going to get in the car and cry like a baby. And I need to do some shopping tonight so it’s gonna be a battle keeping it in check. Wish me luck.

I’d write more and even link you to the site but last time I did that, it wiped my entry completely. I’ll try and come back on tonight for a meatier post on the project and maybe even a recap on April but I just didn’t want to leave you guys hanging.

I got my test back yesterday. Another 100 for me! So that’s it for classes, our final is next Friday. I’m very excited to be closing this class with a 97, a 90, and two 100′s on tests. Seriously, that blows my mind. I’m wondering, “Who am I?” but in a really good way.

I can’t believe April is ending. May is coming and I feel like there should be some doomsday music to accompany that…

Yeah that’s perfect.

I did some more work on my mom’s crocheted afghan last night. I’ve begun the second of three repeats. I never thought I’d get here! But I’m not super excited about it or anything, that’s not even halfway. But still, it’s progress.

OK want to laugh? Watch this and know that the guy driving is a male version of me. Woooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yup. Guilty.

It’s literally true heehee.

Ok that’s enough silliness for today. This post was pure fluff, so sorry. By the way, I’ve decided that I love my hair the way I got it cut. I was on the fence for a while but now I just dig it. I look so different than what I’m used to and I LOVE it.

Be safe this weekend, have fun, and I’ll see you on the flipside!

Besotes!

We got letters from the President of the University and the Dean of the Med School yesterday. There’s also stories in the local paper. Big cuts are coming in May. They won’t speculate a number but the rumor mill says 10% to start. That’s about 900 – 1000 people. Unfortunately the focus will be on administrative positions and unfunded research. The latter doesn’t apply to me but the former does. They’re looking for redundancies. My position could arguably go either way depending on who’s looking at it an how.

Honestly? I’m fine. Yes I’m a little nervous. But mostly, I’m really ok. I’ve had the belt tight on spending to help keep bolstering savings. It’ll stay that way. I should get the last steady payment of child support this Saturday.

Some people feel I’m jumping the gun on that one because the ex hasn’t outright told me he’s not going to be paying me, but that’s his style. He doesn’t warn you of anything, he just does or doesn’t do something. He has told me that yes he saw the website he needs to pay at and it looks super easy, no problem. Of course that doesn’t mean diddly squat. So I’m saving and saving and saving.

I can’t seem to get back into tracking spending. Funny enough, I’m spending less though. At least, I have more money left in my accounts than usual.

Summer Camp costs are up. This has me a bit conflicted. It’s more than I have currently saved up but if there was no change in child support, I’d be fine by June which is how I planned it. Everything is such a toss-up. I can freak out about it or I can not. Thinking about it makes me want to freak out a little bit because so many unknowns are so overwhelming.

School’s almost over. Last test before the final was yesterday. I think I did ok again. Felt good at least, familiar. We review tomorrow and that’s it, class is over. The final is next Friday. I want to care about it but I’m burnt out right now. We had two tests in less than three weeks and it was overwhelming.

We have a busy weekend coming up. But a lot of it is cheap and/or free entertainment so I’m excited. We’ve got a couple of birthday parties and we’ve got a baseball game that we got $1 tickets for through a family event the university did. Even includes free food. Oh and the local theater is having a free showing of a children’s musical too. They offered it to everyone on their mailing list and I snagged us seats.

It’s so weird how events happen in clusters. No birthday parties for ages and then you get like six in a row. My family’s huge birthday season is summer. I end it in the middle of August and then we get the holidays.

I’m really happy with the response the handmade PIF got. If you’d like in, two of my recipients have posted it on their blogs and need takers. So go check out A Windy City Gal OR Momma and the Misters and snag one of their spots and then keep spreading the love!

It’s time to go. See you later alligators!