I saw this article on saying “no” to distractions and temptations, yesterday on Google+. I read it, thought it was cool, and moved on to the millions of things I have to get done in a day. Towards the end of the day though, the article kept creeping into my brain.
The point of the article is the evidence two (really small) studies showing the power of using the phrase “I don’t” in the place of “I can’t” to resist temptations and distractions. It reminded me of the advice to use “I could” instead of “I should” in language. And really it reminded me our words have power, especially in regards to ourselves.
That being said, here are some things I will apply the “I don’t” approach to:
I don’t rip my cuticles.
I don’t eat out more than once a week.
I don’t let K-Fat get to me.
I don’t skip making the bed.
I don’t stress about money.
I don’t hoard money while I have credit card balances.
I don’t call myself fat.
I don’t dress shabbily.
I don’t yell at my kids.
I don’t leave dishes in the sink.
I don’t give myself a hard time about a messy house.
I don’t stay up too late.
I don’t procrastinate.
What about you? Anything you “can’t” do now that you need to make something you “don’t” do? Do you think these word games work?
This is the first post of the self-hosted Mutant Supermodel.
Wow that went way faster than I thought it would. So if you received this post through your subscription service of choice, you are good to go and don’t need to make changes. Thanks for the support you guys have given me- you’ve all been a major motivation to get the blog to this point and this blog wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for you. Thank you also to Crystal at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff who gave me the last little shove I needed, even if she didn’t know she was doing it!
Now excuse me while I run around jazzing things up in here.
Just yesterday I was walking out of class and it just hit me out of nowhere– there is a LOT of skin on campus!! Holy crap. Tiny shorts and tiny tank tops and everyone wears flip flops! I swear to god it wasn’t like that the first time I went to college– was it? And then I couldn’t really remember and that made things even worse.
And then just the other day the kids and I were in the car and we were blah blah blabbing and somehow it got to me telling stories of things my brothers and I did as kids. And then it dawned on me the reason we sounded so much crazier than my own kids is because we had way less “easy” entertainment, i.e. video games, movies,internet, cable were not in my house until I was in the double digit years, so the 90′s. I was explaining about TV before cable and counted off the channels we had access to– all 7 of them. Eldest says, “Yeah but one of them was a kids’ channel at least, right?”
No, my child. I had to explain there were no channels dedicated to children’s programming, there were only time blocks dedicated to children’s programming– after school until the 5 o’clock news, Saturday morning until noon, and then on Sunday ABC would put on an ABC Family presentation in the early evening and it was usually a Disney movie or something like that. They were freaking out.
But they suddenly understood why we did things like play pranks on each other (I sprayed them with a hose from outside through the window screen when they were in the tub a couple times and I was notorious for rigging up buckets filled with LEGO pieces and Hot Wheels on top of their bedroom doors and then waiting patiently until I heard the crash and the screams of the bucket falling on their heads).
Or why we played lots of imagination-based games– like declaring the whole floor was lava and then proceeding to walking around the room by climbing on furniture and jumping onto bean bags or pretending their bunk bed was a giant pirate ship and we were stuck in a storm.
Or why we were always doing things outside like running in sprinklers, riding bikes and roller skates everywhere, climbing trees to hide and read in (just me), and playing football in the street.
Or why it seems we were always tangled up in some sort of physical assault. I’ll never forget the time I shoved my brother and he cracked his head open against the iron bars and my mom freaked out. Or the time he and I were fighting and he got put in time out and I didn’t and like the asshat I was, I went skipping up and down the hallway he was stuck in showing off my freedom when he kicked his leg out, tripped me, and sent me flying down the hallway. Well played MutantWino, well played. Or the times I’d go in and pull MutantWino off MutantPirate. Or the time MutantWino broke his finger chasing MutantPirate around the room. Or the time MutantPirate turned his eye all red and demonic looking by running into a bedpost while being chased after by MutantWino.
And I also realized why it always seemed to me that as kids we played with our toys more than kids do today. That never clicked in my head until that conversation. Answer: we DID play with our toys more often, because we had to.
So my kids and I talked about it and we decided this weekend, we are turning the clock back 30 years and living like it’s 1983. And the fact that was 30 years ago is enough to make me slightly nauseated.
And then, today I was watching the amazing video Google put out about Glass and actually got choked up! We have come so far, this was science fiction when I was little!
What about you? What recent happenings make you feel older?
Aren’t three day weekends just perfect? You have one full day to go out and do social things, one full day to stay in and do cleaning and organizing things, and one full day to stay home relaxing and preparing for the week.
Saturday Stallion and I went to the library so he could use their computers for school work. I took this super complicated crochet project I’ve been doing for my mom. We were there for hours and I got really far along with it. We went home, changed, and went out for dinner and then straight to the movie theater to watch Silver Linings Playbook. It was great. Very funny and very moving. Excellent acting.
Sunday I was all good and responsible and stayed home cleaning the house, putting away Christmas, throwing stuff away, and laundry. My mom dropped in and helped too. She is the fastest cleaner I know. I think she wasn’t even there an hour and got more done than I could do in three hours. After I got a bunch of stuff done and was satisfied with my progress, I treated myself to the sofa, some crochet, and started watching Once Upon a Time on Netflix. I am loving that show.
And then on Monday the kids were dropped off at my house. We relaxed. I got stuff organized and ready for the next day. We painted a bird house kit they had gotten at Christmas. We made peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I also made fish tacos for dinner and freshly squeezed lemonade. See, I do have some domestic capabilities in me.
Oh, good news– Stallion got the promotion so he’ll be consistently be working 30+ hours and will get benefits. I am very happy for him and also relieved. This whole limbo has had him stressed out which is not fun. And it will mean he can help with a few of the bills too. Which is nice because the child support thing is still unresolved and technically the x’s company has until March to comply with the income deduction order.
Do you ever get tired of venting about something/someone? That’s me. I’m tired of venting about the x or money. I’m just done. I don’t want anyone to talk to me about either. I don’t want to even think about either. I’m so burnt out on both.
Programming is going well. I get in the lab on Sunday for the first time finally. Yesterday I led my group with a structure chart and filled in the main one the professor had when no one in the class figured out what the missing piece was. This makes me feel self-conscious which is totally ridiculous. I’m 32 what the hell do I care? But I do. I care that people would think I’m showing off or something. Or I fear that my professor will get annoyed with me. I feel self conscious in all the classes I do well in. And yesterday when the kid next to me found out I was 32 and almost had a heart attack, I feel worse. I’m considering looking into not getting the second bachelor’s and instead figuring out what I need to do to get a Master’s instead. I just don’t want to waste my time with a bunch of classes I don’t care about.
Anyhow, that’s all there is in my head today. What about you?
I thought that maybe I had shaken off most of it, but I was wrong. There is nothing like the holidays to stress me the heck out. What can I say? I’m freaking out about Christmas and fighting like hard not to freak out about Christmas at the same time.
Christmas is something I had set aside money for several months ago. But when child support evaporated, so did all of my savings, even Christmas. So now, I’m trying to figure it all out. I’m making things like crazy. Well, that’s not true. I was making things like crazy and then I slowed down considerably and pretty much stopped because I got burned out. I’m trying to start things up again.
The problem with stress is it’s very distracting. You try and focus on something and it wriggles and wiggles it’s way around your brain as it moves towards the center stage of your thoughts.
This year, the kids will be spending Christmas Eve with their father. They come to my house Christmas Day around noon. We are going to have Christmas Cookie Party that day. I think that it will be a lot of fun. And maybe it will distract the kids from a really skimpy Christmas tree.
This is where I begin to flounder, to worry, to conflict myself. My kids are blessed with a large, loving extended family who will surely shower them with gifts the way they do at every special occasion. They have a ton of stuff no matter how much I have them go through their toys and get rid of things. So there’s a battle in me– I know they don’t need or even want more stuff but I want to give to them. So I feel bad about not having any money to buy much for Christmas this year and at the same time I don’t feel bad about not participating in the relentless consumerism that so deeply affects this country. The kind of consumerism that fuels this kind of irony…
So I am struggling with that inner conflict at the same time I am stressing about the usual stress I have been dealing with regarding bills and life’s necessities. This means child support still hasn’t shown up in any way, shape, or form. If I understand the state attorney’s office correctly, that means his license is either suspended or about to be suspended any day now. I haven’t called them back since that last post. I probably will next week. I’m a pest but I don’t have a choice in the matter.
Their father told me he is starting a new job on the first, that they are in the negotiation stage right now. He told me the same exact thing, word for word, a few months ago. If it IS true, it would of course be that just about the time the state attorney’s office should be linking up to the unemployment office to garnish those checks, he would be starting a new job and stop collecting unemployment therefore starting the garnishment process anew all over again. It’s enough to make you laugh the maniacal laugh of loony bins.
Today, I’ll be staying home doing the laundry and working on crocheted gifts. We already watched Elf but it made me cry so I don’t think I’ll be putting on any more Christmas movies today. Today, the kids are going to make their Christmas lists but I am going to do something different. I am going to give them a paper with four sections: Something I want, Something I need, Something to wear, and Something to read. I’ll let them fill each section out with a couple of things in each category and use that as my guiding light this Christmas. I think it’s better this way than a free for all.
I hope you enjoy your weekend. I’m trying to do just that.
I have jury duty on Wednesday. It’s my first time and I’m excited about it.
Better
I am reading Persepolis for class. I have been reading a lot lately. Recently, I finished Discovery of Witches and Stardust on my own and for school I finished Things Fall Apart and Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I have liked all of these. There is nothing quite like the escape route one takes through a book.
On Sunday, I did a lot of cleaning and picking up. My house looks much nicer now and it makes me happy to see it that way.
Amazing
My dad took me to the sailing club in Key Largo Saturday with some of his students. One of the managers took us out on his Hunter 28′ foot sailboat. It is a beautiful boat. He taught us how to tack and explained a lot of terms to us. After, all the kids hopped on tiny Optis and figured out how to sail. I passed afraid of being smacked by the boom or capsizing the boat in the cold water. Next time, I won’t be such a chicken. I witnessed a glorious Key Largo sunset and felt very calm.
All I knew when I opened up WordPress today was that I wanted to write but I wanted to write light stuff because I’m feeling a bit heavy. Imagine the perfection of finding a Liebster Award Nomination in my comments from ShelConnors!
There are 4 steps to receiving this award..
List 11 things about yourself.
Answer your nominator’s 11 questions.
Choose up to 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers and ask them your own questions.
Inform your nominees of their award nominations.
11 facts about myself:
I’m a Leo with my moon and ascendant in Scorpio. I used to know what that means, but I don’t anymore.
If you want to really know how I’m doing, look at my hands. If my nails are long and polished and my cuticles are healthy, all is well. If my nails are short and uneven and my cuticles torn to bleeding, I’m not doing so well.
Everyone has a preferred fighting style and I am passive-aggressive to the core.
I know that people say to be a good writer you should be a good reader, but in my case I wonder if reading as much as I do doesn’t backfire. I have a hard time writing fiction, insecure in my ideas being original or interesting compared to the many things I have read in the past.
I really don’t like the months of November and December. Everything feels chaotic and lazy at the same time. I feel like I should be winding down and relaxing but am also frenzied to keep up with the demands of the holiday season and the end of the year.
I can be the best cheerleader you will ever have. I love to help others succeed and will bend all pretzel-like for others.
My least favorite room in my house is the kitchen.
I would very much like to live in a bookstore by the sea.
I am quite sure that I am on the verge of doing another major purge of my home, ridding myself of many things, cutting back to less and less. I feel like my home doesn’t give me the joy I know it could. It’d be nice to have paint, and curtains, and frames for instance. And a cleaning lady.
I’m scared.
11 Questions from Shel
What inspires your blog? Whining.
How long have you been blogging? Unofficially since 2002 I think.
Favorite movie and why? Today I’ll say Big Fish because I’m emotional and want to cry.
How many hours a week do you spend on the computer? Probably 60.
How long does it take to write a post, on average? Not sure, never really paid much attention. But I do tend to almost all of my posts in one sitting and I don’t think I take very long.
Did you ever dream your life would be what it is now? Hell. No.
Favorite food? Chocolate.
What would be your dream job, if you had the choice? Owning a bookstore by the sea.
What is your hidden talent? I don’t really hide my talents, I’m too showy (it’s the Leo thing).
Facebook or Pinterest? Don’t really like Facebook but at least I have an account there. I never even looked at Pinterest. Google+ is where it’s at!
What is one thing you’re working on for yourself? Nothing. Everything I am doing is for my family.
Nominations: YOU! If you actually come here and hang out and read my blog, then I want YOU to have this lovely pink award. And I wantYOU to answer these questions. Don’t forget to let me know you did it so I can read your answers. I tried to make them interesting
My Burning Questions for YOU
You are dumped into a fantasy world and get to be any creature you desire. What do you choose– Vampire, Witch, Werewolf, Fairy, Elf, Demon, Angel, Mermaid, Goblin, Troll, Ghost, Human, Other?
You win a fabulous prize– a dinner personally catered by a living celebrity chef. Who do you choose?
You get to live anywhere you want in the world rent-free. Where will you go and what kind of place will you live in?
You win a one hour shopping spree in a store of your choice. Restrictions: No food or household items allowed. What store do you choose and what will you be buying?
You get to donate $10,000 to a single charity of your choice– who gets it?
You are given one household staff for the rest of your life. What do you choose– a cook, a housekeeper, a butler, a driver, a gardener, a nanny, a stylist, an assistant, a seamstress, a nurse, or something else? Why?
Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Wrath, and Envy. Rank them in order from the sin you’re most guilty of down to the sin you’re least guilty of.
What is a happy memory from your childhood?
If you could learn a skill overnight, what skill would you choose?
If you could learn a new language overnight, how would you say “Good Morning” when you wake up?
You are invited to create a signature perfume. What would you name it and what would it smell like?
Hey everyone! As promised, I have returned. I have so much stuff coming up for you guys too.
The week in La La Land was exactly what I needed. I really disconnected from everything. I even forgot there’s an election going on. I also forgot what it’s like to cook meals and pack lunch boxes and make your own bed but that all comes back eventually. Oh and bills. I forgot all about those too for a little while.
I am so much better now. I am looking at things with fresh eyes and without the major stress of work pushing down on top of me with everything else. I am using the proceeds of my car sale to pay off some lingering things and will be giving the bulk of it to my parents and it just makes me feel a lot better about a lot of things. I have to sit down and tinker a budget still but I’m more zen about it these days. Child Support is never ever going to happen. I’m going to have to work with that and move onward.
Oh I’m officially NOT doing NaNoWriMo this year. The conference pushed me way off schedule and I am really more interested in crocheting because the bulk of my Christmas gifts this year will be handmade by me.
Did I mention I got paid for my first crochet commission? YAY!
I will have some wonderful pictures to share with you all soon, I promise. Wait until you SEE how beautiful the place I stayed at was. Just you wait.
There are some bumps I’ve got to deal with but I’m more confident in how I’m going to handle them. All in good time. I’ll probably be a bit slow getting back to the flow of things, or maybe not who knows, but if I’m a bit on the snail side, just be patient. We’ll be rocking real soon. Missed you!
Hey folks! As most of you Regulars know, the annual conference I coordinate is upon us. This means this will be the last post you see from me for about a week. You know what? This could not be better timed.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it right now because, well I’m all out of sugar and don’t have a dime to buy anymore! I’m beyond stressed out. I feel like I’m underwater and every time I come up for air, I can only get a quick gulp in before being pulled under again. And I’ve been feeling like this for months now. I’m trying really hard to stay positive. I’m trying really hard to keep focusing on good things. But it’s really, really, really hard to do even that. When all your energy is put into not drowning there isn’t much left for things like positive thinking.
I check into the hotel tomorrow and check out on Sunday. My younger kids are starting to get anxious and sad about going to their dad’s house for the week. We are going to watch Hocus Pocus tonight and maybe I’ll come up with some sort of Halloween craft we can do together to make up for the fact this is the first Halloween they won’t get to be with Mom. I’m trying to get them excited. I’m reminding them that their friend is going to go with them and that it’ll be lots of fun. But they don’t care. I’m trying to see if their dad will bring them to the hotel Saturday for a few hours but he gave a really non-committal “Sounds good” reply to the really long email I sent him about all the stuff he needs this week.
Yes that is the extent he communicates with me most times. I’ll write something with lots of info and some questions and I get, “Sounds good”. Co-Parenting with this man is flat out impossible.
Whatever, this isn’t going to turn into that kind of post. It’s just not.
I’m driving the new car which is bittersweet. My dad bought himself something new last night. At least once I get on-site tomorrow, I won’t have to spend a penny until check-out Sunday. Which is great because there isn’t anything to spend…
I totally ranted right now but deleted it.
I’m going to pack workout clothes in my suitcase. I’m going to work out at the hotel this week. Maybe in their gym, more likely on the beach. Just run and run and run. Maybe puke and run some more. I need to get this emotional cancer out of me, I really do. Money stress. There is nothing worse than money stress. It kills people, it kills relationships, it just destroys everything in its path. And it’s all over me.
I’m hoping this week of disconnecting from everything helps me reset. I need a fresh look at things.
For those of you up North, stay safe. Category 1 storms aren’t a big deal even if they’re all wet and stuff. So I’m hoping everyone’s freaked out about this storm more than necessary and that all the lights will be back on Wednesday and the roads dry. Our weather has been stunning and cool and windy.
There’s something I have to tell you and it’s not going to be easy. The thing is, I know that you guys are pretty strict on some things and believe that some things are just right and some things are just wrong. So I’m hoping that you’ll still love me, accept me, and support me after I tell you something I’ve struggled with for years now.
The truth is, I don’t really like wine, I like beer. I know how important wine is in our family and how you were all pretty sure I was just like you in at least this one thing but I’m not. I’ve really tried to like wine. I’ve tried out a bunch of different types. I’ve even gone along with your wine tasting parties hoping that maybe I’d find a perfect match. I see how excited you all get when you gaze into a wine glass. I know how much joy you get analyzing the legs and debating how hot the wine is. I know that you all bond over your love of wine and that it’s pretty much expected in our family that everyone loves wine and will love wine and will make wine-loving babies but it’s just not like that for me.
The thing is, I just really love beer. I get so much happiness from a frosty mug of delicious beer that wine has just never brought me. I love all kinds of beer too! I love Germans and English and American. I love meeting new beers from all over the world and admire them in every shade. I think they’re so special and unique and interesting.
I know there are some bad beers out there. I know beer isn’t perfect. But it’s what makes me happy. And I hope that you can respect that and respect my love of beer.
I won’t try and push it on you. I’ll even enjoy the occasional glass of wine, especially in your presence. And I’ll come to your wine tastings too because I love to be with you, my family, so much. I’d just rather have a beer in my hand, that’s all.
And does it really matter at the end of the day what we like to drink? I mean isn’t it about wanting happiness and love for our loved ones even if our loved ones love a little differently than we do? I won’t judge you for your drinking wine. I won’t feel bad for cabernet when you dump it for a pinot. As long as it makes you smile, I’ll happily refill your glass. I’ll even buy you a bottle if I ever have spending money again.
Thanks for listening, family and friends. I love you. Even though you love wine and I love beer. I just hope you’ll love me too.
