Monthly Archives: September 2011

Oh Christmas pig, Oh Christmas pig!

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Christmas Pig

"Christmas Pig" by Justin Belcher

Here’s a quick little idea I had that I wanted to share.

I have a routine where I empty my wallet daily and put the ones in a little box. I use the ones to pay the kids’ allowances. Sometimes, I have enough ones in there to pay allowances for a month and sometimes I have just enough for the week. It depends on how much cash I’m using, but it overall has helped me always have money on hand to pay them and that’s been a real sanity saver and guilt curber.

I’ve wanted to use more cash more often because I think it limits me better than a card does and I’d like to get in the habit of going cash only for 90% of my day to day expenses.

Now, I have an incentive to do that.

I have a piggy bank.

Every time my wallet looks huge and gross, I empty the coins out into it. I wasn’t really sure what to do with the money this year.

But now I do.

I came up with a little incentive to dump my change into my piggy bank. My change is going to buy my Christmas present to myself. It’s not going to go towards my Christmas present, it will pay for my Christmas present in full.

What’ll it be? Depends on how much money my little piggy’s got when I cash it out at the end of the year.

I figure this will help me in a couple ways.

1) I want to use cash as much as possible as we head into the chaos of the end of the year. I behave so much better when I know I can only buy x amount of dollars worth of stuff because there’s only x amount of dollars in my wallet. With the little plastic card thing, it gets fuzzy. I know I only have x amount of dollars to spend on y thing but I don’t know know, you know? Anyhow using more cash inevitably leads to more cha-ching, cha-ching for the little piggy wiggy.

2) It’ll curb satisfying the wanties. Or at least delay it. And then I won’t be dipping into any other type of money to satisfy the holiday wanties. I think the reason the wanties really kick into gear around the end of the year is because we get absolutely bombed with advertising and subconscious messages to want things that are shiny and bright. Not to mention, most of us shop for gifts and just in doing so we are exposed to things. I’m a sucker for things. Nice, pretty, lovely things.

3) I’ll be doing something for me and it’s not of negative consequence on anything else. Not to mention, I’m a single mom of three wee ones. If I don’t spoil me, no one else will and that’s completely fine with me.

So, I’ll be focused on feeding my pig and fattening him up for my totally self-indulgent Christmas slaughter.

Do you have any totally ridiculous silly little games you play to motivate yourself? Don’t you think my piggy bank needs a name? Should I take a picture of him to encourage a pig-naming brainstorming session?

P.S. Do take a moment to read the article I linked to up there. It is amazing.

Energy Debt

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ex·haus·tion

[ig-zaws-chuhn]

noun

1. the act or process of exhausting.
2. the state of being exhausted.
3. extreme weakness or fatigue.
4. the total consumption of something

I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I feel like I’ve been hit by a car. I feel like my brain has short-circuited. I feel worn out. I feel ragged. I feel like I could sleep three days straight and it would still not be enough.

If you’re a regular reader here, you may have noticed a dip in the frequency I’ve been posting despite the fact I am now in possession of a smart phone, wireless internet, and a functional laptop. The thing is in order to make use of any of these wonderful things quite effectively, you have to be functional.

Lately, work has been incredibly demanding and has sucked me dry of about 85% of my day-to-day functionality. Meanwhile, the kids continue to suck me dry of 45% of my day-to-day functionality. And to top it all off, for the first time in my life I have been suffering from seasonal allergies since about June which can suck anywhere from 5-15% of my day-to-day functionality depending on the severity of the day’s attack.

No, that’s not a mistake.

I’m running a deficit. A big one.

Debt, debt, debt. It’s such a popular word these days. The national debt. Credit card debt. Consumer debt. Student debt. Debt, debt, debt.

And yet for me the biggest most gigantic debt is just plain energy debt.

I’m here and I’m forcing myself to post this because that’s the only way I am getting things done these days– by force. I force myself through my work day waving different carrots: “Ok if you finish this deposit, you can read a few more pages of The Iron Duke. Ok fine, you can read some more pages from The Iron Dukewhile you make these copies. Ok if you finish three more of these deposits, you can go to lunch AND read The Iron Dukeon break.”

And because of how chaotic things are, I am working longer hours and coming in on days I’d usually have off. So the days I do have off for real,  I am rushing to squeeze in as many things as possible because who knows when there will be another chance?

The devastating undercurrent to all of this is sleep deprivation. I cannot remember the last time I got a full, uninterrupted night of sleep that lasted more than three to four hours.

Last night has become typical in the overall scheme of my regular nights.

Postponed bedtime. Last night, I decided my nape piercing had to go. It was infected again. My kids made me wince when they’d lovingly throw their hands around my neck in a big hug. And when I saw it in the mirror, it was scary– not pretty. Swollen. Red. Angry. This is not what I got a nape piercing for.

So I decided I had to take it out which was MUCH more painful than getting it in. Well, apparently removing it caused some bruising and the swelling was still present so I stayed up applying ice (and reading The Iron Duke) until I felt my hands stop shaking from the pain and until I felt confident I had done all I could do to help the healing process. I ended up heading for bed around 1 in the morning.

Interrupted Sleep. And then, Baby woke up about four different times crying and coughing. I’m not sure if he’s battling allergies too or just some cold but it’s made him pretty difficult to deal with. Nighttime is worse. He kept waking up the minute I had just dozed off. I gave him the cough medicine safe for little ones. I gave him water. I gave him Motrin because he was screaming his mouth hurt. I took him to go pee. Finally, I had to force myself to sit in a chair in his room until he was passed out. Only to be woken up later by a notification on my new phone because I’d forgotten to turn off the notification sound. To then have my alarm go off at 5:50 in the morning.

At least this time I didn’t have to deal with the kitten crying. Or with being too hot. Or with being too cold.

This pattern repeats itself every night without fail. And it’s been doing so for weeks. Why? I have no idea.

My spending tracking has really slowed down and has become pretty shoddy. I try and update when I remember but I’m pretty sure a few things have slipped through the craps and updates have become something I do every now and then. Before, I would update it constantly. This already caused an overdraft on my account and I haven’t even had a moment to fix it with a deposit of money I have.

Most days I feel like I’m in a fog. I can only manage to play around on Google+ or read The Iron Duke or stare vacantly into space while listening to music. And now I’ve finished The Iron Duke so….

I’m expecting another month like this.

Insane stress at work. Low levels of sleep. Insanity with the kids who can probably feel my stress and exhaustion and raggedness keener than anyone else. And I am trying so hard to spare them that. I force myself to keep trying to breathe, breathe, breathe. Hug them, Mutant. Smell them. Squeeze them. Kiss them. Laugh with them. Eat junk food with them. Be present with them in the moment- every moment because it’s going and going and going so freaking fast.

But kids aren’t well-behaved all of the time. Sometimes, they’re downright out of hand. And then I have to be tough and the disciplinarian and am ripped suddenly from a cozy haven of cuddling and smiling and playing and obeying to a WTF is going on here and who are these insane violent screeching monsters alternate universe.

Another month.

And then…

I’ll probably collapse. And resuscitate a bit for the holidays. And then go insane on a family road trip I’ve planned.

And then maybe I can relax. After all of that. But I’m sure I’ll be back to myself before that.

At least, I hope so. And in the meanwhile, I can keep forcing myself to do things with promises of pages from The Parasol Protectorate series that’s been here since my birthday last month.

How are you doing? Upbeat and full of life? Barely functioning? Running as usual? Am I going to survive?

Spotlight: Daily Plate of Crazy

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There are two things I love equally about blogging– my blog and your blogs. With that in mind, once a week I’ll be devoting some space to one of the blogs I read. Prepare yourselves to be introduced to the gazillion facets of my personality because the scope of the blogs I read is vast, wide, and assorted like a jumbo box of chocolates.

This week’s blog: Daily Plate of Crazy

I’ve seen many blogs attempt daily posting. They almost always fail miserably or they generate some pretty silly posts that are just all-around weak or over time they become increasingly repetitive (like where I feel GRS is lately). This is not a problem over at Daily Plate of Crazy who manages to generate quality posts every single day. I’m totally jealous. But more than that, I’m totally grateful.

Her subjects are varied: dating, single motherhood, empty nest, midlife womanhood, gender issues, raising teenagers, self-esteem, and on and on. But the essays are all well-written and carefully thought out. She often elaborates or provides commentary on interesting news pieces. And sometimes, she just lets her emotions take the lead– frustration, loneliness, confusion, humor, whatever. Nothing seems off-limits– even her own doubt on whether writing daily accomplishes anything, affects anything, makes a difference.

It’s refreshing to read her writing because it flies in the face of so many other blogs (not all, of course)– the vocabulary is eloquent, the essays are long but concise, and she does a great job of pointing a reader to other very intelligent and worthwhile reading as well.

Have you discovered Daily Plate of Crazy? Do you try and write daily?

10, 9, 8…

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Launch
“Launch” by Matthew Simanatov on Flickr

There are only ten days left in September? How in the underworld did that happen?

I guess I better do a quick check-in with this month’s goals then!

Employer match: I sent an email to Benefits because I haven’t seen anything yet. Maybe I totally misunderstood the e-mail and it’ll start September. Who knows?

I thought I was going to get three checks this month but I thought wrong. The third check will arrive the first week of October so that changes things. I’ve already set up $500 to go to savings and I’m trying to see if I can set aside a wee bit more. I had some medical expenses come through this month that I wasn’t aware of (surprise deductibles!) and my FSA card doesn’t have enough to cover them. So I had to bump some money that way, but I’ve still got ten days to see what I can come up with.

There’s nothing really to update on the Target card since that was paid off in the beginning of the month.

The laptop’s monitor was fixed. Unfortunately, the battery is shot and doesn’t work unless plugged in. This will be an expense for next month and looks to be upward of $60. The car’s registration was paid. Oddly enough, I got a note that Ex’s car is still not registered and his expired last month. The switch to MetroPCS was complete. So all larger than usual expenses have been covered.

The coupon binder is mostly complete and has been pretty helpful. I’ve been so swamped though I haven’t had much time to sit with it and add new inserts. Maybe I’ll make Eldest do some coupon clipping this weekend.

I did get to read A Visit from the Goon Squad which was awesome. I haven’t touched the blanket because I’m at the point where I have to switch skeins and I just haven’t DONE that. Mental blocks foil me every time.

I went and did the flying yoga thing this past weekend. It was pretty fun but the room was so damn hot I got dizzy and sick and sat out half of it. After though, I went out to lunch with two girlfriends. Yay! Girl time rules!

Ok so the play was replaced with a trip to a comedy show at the Improv. They offered me four free tickets so I went with Friend, his friend, and my girlfriend and no it wasn’t an intentional blind date. We had so much fun, we kept talking about it all weekend.

I’m doing pretty well with the anti-hermit thing although the weekends I have the kids are the bigger challenges. We’ll probably start talking about our plans tonight or Thursday.

Box Tops are coming along quite ok! I even have a couple of girls at work clipping them from the copy paper they use.

Work is coming together better. There is MUCH more communication going on. I have to maintain a pro-active role in that since my co-workers aren’t dedicated to my project full-time the way I am. So yeah, I have to remember that and keep pushing to be the one seeking out the information and keeping things updated. It’s still really crazy though and until the conference wraps, I’m pretty much going to be nuts.

There is some order descending around my house though. Last night I prepared a chicken for the crock pot. I’ve never done that before. At least not in that super fancy way where you rub it and stuff it and things like that. That whole cavity thing is yuck. We’ll see how it tastes tonight.

I’ve been trying to make sure things are mostly ready the night before like the clothes and the backpacks and homework and forms and shoes. I’m trying to do little things every day and have downloaded an app to help me stay on track with the things I want to do but always forget to do.

What about you? Anything you’re aiming for as we enter September’s final countdown?

Hello Metro

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Yesterday, I went to my local MetroPCS store and officially ended my seven year relationship with T-Mobile.

Why?

You probably expect me to flash dollar signs at you and I will, but that is not the first and foremost reason I ended my relationship with T-Mobile. It all started over a year ago. I was at the point, in my fifth year as a customer of theirs and until then was very happy with their phone service and customer service. The price was pretty good compared to the carriers of their caliber– AT&T, Sprint, Verizon, etc.

But then, my Sidekick Slide started to act funny. It took over four months of back and forth phones and customer service calls and different people spinning different stories when I finally got fed up. Last summer, I stripped my line down to the basics and got a super basic and cheap little phone. I asked when my contract would expire and made a mental note to explore other options at that point.

I absolutely hate the fact that the only time my five year relationship with T-Mobile became something worth meriting their attention was when I expressed the feeling to cancel. It did nothing to improve their crappy device solutions. It did nothing to improve the constant network issues. It did nothing to improve anything except giving a rep a chance to up-sell me again.

My contract ended yesterday and I was ready. I’d done some shopping around over the past several months, and had talked to lots of people about the different types of service they experience with different carriers.

Imagine my surprise when again and again, people were singing the praises of none other than– MetroPCS. Metro had not enjoyed a great reputation around here for a long time. As a matter of fact, I knew several people who referred to them as Metro Piece of Crap Service. Not nice. But, Metro’s done a lot over the past few years to improve their network and their devices and the big carriers should be quaking in their boots.

Friend has his phone on my account so we could take advantage of what ended up being some pithy discounts T-Mobile had offered. His contract wasn’t due to terminate until April of next year and so moving him with me would incur a $200 early cancellation fee. This usually gives most people pause. I mean $200? To cancel?

But, what if paying the $200 cancellation AND buying a new phone actually ended up being way cheaper than riding the contract out until it expired?

And there lay the final rub. My bill at T-Mobile for both of our lines was $177.12 this month. This is for:

  • Unlimited calls on both phones
  • Unlimited text on both phones
  • Unlimited web and Blackberry service on 1 phone
  • Insurance on 1 phone
  • Taxes and Fees up the ying yang on both phones

My bill at Metro PCS is $102.00 a month and doesn’t come with a contract. This is for:

  • Unlimited calls on both phones
  • Unlimited text on both phones
  • Unlimited web on both phones
  • Insurance on both phones (I only do this for a few months then it’s not worth it)
  • Back-up services on both phones
  • Taxes and fees on both phones

I am saving $75 a month and am receiving upgraded services and phones (I. Love. Android.).

I actually called T-Mobile to see how much it would be to let Friend’s phone ride out the contract alone. I never got a concrete answer but was told it’d be $100 before taxes and fees. Let’s say those come to another $15 (I’ve been told 15% is a good estimate) and I would’ve had a $115 bill for another 7 months. Friend’s line at Metro comes to $51 a month which means I’m saving $64 a month or $448.

But Mutant what about that cancellation fee? And you had to buy a new phone! What about that cost?

Yes and Yes. Cancellation fee came to $200 so my savings are now $248. Because I was buying a second phone, his android phone came to $84.53 after taxes. So with these two expenses, I am still saving $163.47 in moving him over. Yes, it’s a big amount up-front.

MetroPCS makes you pre-pay and T-Mobile charges you retroactively so you are paying two monthly bills for two months while T-Mobile finishes catching up. And you have to pay the cancellation fee too. Plus the cost of new phones. But, the savings are there and if you can afford the up-front cost it’s a no-brainer. I’d been saving money for this because I knew it was coming. I’m proud of myself for being able to afford a money-saving change like this. And there is room to downgrade should I be beset by a financial crisis. My plan is the second most expensive one at MetroPCS.

It wasn’t too long ago I would’ve been trapped with T-Mobile because I wouldn’t have been able to set aside the money for this kind of long-term savings. I honestly probably wouldn’t even have looked past a $200 cancellation fee.

And this is the type of experience that makes me feel, more than any chart or meter can do, that I am on the right track. I’ve been writing a lot on the why’s of debt management and re-payment lately. And I think where I start to break away from the rest of the pack is that I am not interested in being debt-free for moral reasons, or because it’s what I “should” do, or because a lot of other people are doing it, or because I’m interested in a minimal and/or frugal lifestyle (I’m not).

For me, the single most important reason I do this is because I am learning real and true control over my money. I am learning to control how it comes in and how it goes out. I am learning how to reduce the outage in one area to increase the outage in another area. I am learning to make goals, to prioritize, to make meaningful decisions. I am learning gratitude for my hard-earned dollars, instead of having a sense of entitlement. I am learning to choose what is important for me and to disregard by and large what is important for the rest of the pack.

Is being debt-free important to me? Yes. But, being debt-free is not the most important thing to me. Making smart choices on the path to being debt-free is what I truly value. And also, it’s worth mentioning I don’t see Debt-Free as a destination. For me, it’s only part of a journey. That understanding makes it easier to widen my range of vision when it comes to managing my money.

What about you? Have you recently made changes with your cell phone? Have you learned things about yourself in ways you wouldn’t have thought?

Spotlight: 101 Books

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There are two things I love equally about blogging– my blog and your blogs. With that in mind, once a week I’ll be devoting some space to one of the blogs I read. Prepare yourselves to be introduced to the gazillion facets of my personality because the scope of the blogs I read is vast, wide, and assorted like a jumbo box of chocolates.

This week’s blog: 101 Books

There is a special place in my heart for books and the people who are involved with them one way or another. And it’s because of that special place in my heart, which I wish everyone on earth shared, that I take a special pleasure when I see a new post from Robert at 101 Books pop into my WordPress Reader.

The core of Robert’s blog is Time Magazines list of the 100 Greatest Novels (since 1923). The book that puts the 1 in 101 would be James Joyce’s Ulysses which was published in 1922 effectively disqualifying it from Time’s list. Robert has dedicated himself to reading every single one of these books. Don’t worry, he’s not crazy enough to try and do it in one year.

Because Robert is not forcing himself to tear through this list at breakneck speed, it gives him time, I think, to really contemplate each book. Yes, he always gives a final review on the book when he’s done, but Robert also peppers his blog with updates as he progresses through each one. He often will let his readers choose his next book and because of that we have gotten to force him to get Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret out of the way. This, it should be said, prompted a couple of posts on clever ways one may potentially hide a book one is reading in public.

And it’s posts like these that set Robert apart from just another checklist type of blog. There have been discussions on movie tie-ins, book cover art, the nuances of specific words, insane Google searches (that got way creepier after he read AYTGIMM), reading methods, and other such things. And the best part is, Robert’s got a great community of commentators. I’ve gotten more than one chuckle reading other readers’ comments or have found myself wildly nodding in agreement.

Robert’s blog is the kind of blog that made you wish blogs were actual physical places you could visit. It’s comfortable and welcoming and filled with nerdy people like me who aren’t total snobs about it (most of the time).

Have you already discovered Robert? Are there any blogs you read that aren’t necessarily associated with the core of your content?

A great quote from How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe

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When I first read this, it deeply resonated with me– so much so, I wrote it in a little notebook I carry and often re-read it when I come across it. It also reminded me of everyone I read in the blogosphere that is struggling.

The women who have been betrayed by their husbands. The women whose husbands have them in limbo. The ones that have lost loved ones. The ones that have been hurt so deeply they can’t imagine they’ll ever be themselves again. The ones fighting tooth and nail because they have lost a job. It reminded me of everyone who questions whether things will ever be ok again. The ones who are bent over with pain. The ones who are limping along right now.

Hurt is universal. It touches us all, but in an endless myriad of ways. Some times, it ensnares us top to bottom, utterly and completely. Some times it surges and recedes only to surge once more. Some times it’s quick and abrupt. No experience of pain, or loss, or suffering, or struggle, or grieving is the same.

Here, when the narrator speaks of “him,” he is referring to his father who got in a time machine one day and vanished without a trace. But the “him” is replaceable with anything, anyone. It can be “him”– a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a husband, a friend. It can be “her”– a mother, a daughter, a sister, a grandmother, a wife, a best friend. It can be “them”– a group of close friends, a pair of siblings, a pair of children, classmates, band members, co-workers. It can be “it”– a pet, a job, a school, a feeling, an experience, a lifestyle. It doesn’t matter what has hurt you because the truth about time and its relation to pain the author talks about here is universally inevitable.

“I don’t miss him anymore. Most of the time, anyway. I want to. I wish I could but, unfortunately, it’s true: time does heal. It will do so whether you like it or not, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. If you’re not careful, time will take away everything that ever hurt you, everything you have ever lost, and replace it with knowledge. Time is a machine: it will convert your pain into experience.”

-Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe: A Novel

 

Brain Dump: WIP, Kitty, Target Economics, Doctors, Etc.

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Mommy's "Alaskan Nights" blanket

I did some more work on mom’s blanket. I love this pattern. It’s like piecing together a puzzle.The blanket is coming out so beautiful. And I find it weird that I can say that because I have issues generally complimenting myself but with crochet it feels different. I don’t really feel like I can take credit for the project. I didn’t spin the yarn. I didn’t dye it. I didn’t design the pattern. I just followed instructions. It’s like cooking.

Like the banana bread I made the other night. It was delicious. Soft. Not overwhelming. Perfect. I just followed directions.

Mutant Kitty is a wench though. My hands and feet are covered in scratches. She doesn’t stop attacking the yarn even when I’m not working on it. And she’s really freaking hyper. Kitty needs a Xanax. This is what goes on next to me while I’m attempting to work on this blanket.

The following is an excerpt from my thought process when I am observing a person who is being overly cautious while making a (right) turn: “Oh geez what an idiot! No, wait, you know what? It’s probably just someone who’s really old. Or someone who’s high as $@%&!”

Earlier today, I went to get lunch at Chicken Kitchen. It was packed inside and outside it was empty. Inside I looked at all of the people inhaling each other’s exhales and outside a gorgeous wind was zipping through the shaded tables and chairs. So I ditched the recycled air mob and sat outside. Others followed. Eventually a girl asked if she minded if she sat in the empty table adjacent to mine. “No problem,” I said. I finished eating and finished reading Chapter Two of “Visit from the Goon Squad” which I can already tell I’m gonna love. I got up, threw away my trash and left. Halfway down the block I realized I’d left without saying goodbye or even wishing my tablemate a nice day. I felt like such a hole of a. Books make me rude apparently.

I have a really great quote I keep meaning to share with everyone but it’s so great, I think it deserves it’s own post. So, yeah. I’m just gonna leave that hanging out there and tease you with it.

Oh, I’m sick again! Looks like this time I saw the doctor before it got out of hand because it looks like I’m on the way to another sinus infection but the doctor thinks we can beat it before it sets in. She’s convinced seasonal allergies are at the root of this so she wants me to pick up some Zyrtec. Sudafed and Nasonex are also on my list. Lots of fluids. Lots of rest (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and low levels of stress (see previous parentheses).

Yesterday, I went to Target and it wasn’t for Missoni. I actually went for ballet tights for Daughter. However, I saw the Missoni aftermath. I feel like the Missoni carnage is a commentary on something larger and even though I have ideas and theories, there’s not a real solid thought formed yet. On the most basic of levels, I feel yesterday’s ridiculousness is concrete evidence rich people are holding on to every penny they have and is probably just the latest in an avalanche of evidence that trickle-down economics doesn’t work. It doesn’t trickle down. It just sits there and is released whenever it suits their fancy.

I mean, ok, think about it. Let’s say you have a family of five and you’re on a $300 monthly food budget because you have no other money. As a matter of fact, everything is down to the bare minimum and not because of a conscious lifestyle choice (I’m a minimalist!). Now, let’s say you give that family another $500 a month. They’re going to spend most of it because they are not at a decent standard of living. They need to spend it to get closer to a decent standard of living. There’s more room to get to the whole peak of fulfillment. But if you take a family of five who has an $800 monthly food budget and give them another $500, they’re most likely going to save more of it because their standard of living is pretty decent already. They’re not scrabbling to make ends meet and lighting candles to ward them against Murphy. I dunno. I just get the feeling every time I talk to an advocate of trickle-down they’re all smug and don’t think trickle-up works because “those people” have no idea what to do with their money.  But in capitalism, you need spending in order to have success. If you’re trickling up, you’re going to see more of that. There is just no motivation for money to trickle down. At all. As a matter of fact, in the physical world things that trickle down tend to be leaks and you always try and plug a leak as soon as possible. Things that trickle up tend to be utilizing capillary action and growing. *sigh*

I think my kids have allergies too. Not to mention the insanity that is Baby’s poop problems. I totally don’t want to talk about that right now though because I’m so over poop.

I started applying to my university. I’ve actually reconsidered a Master’s. I’m just going to go back to school. I think I might start working towards a second bachelor’s– most likely in Computer Science.

I’ve been so busy at work! It’s nuts!

The past two days I’ve had major issues waking up. I’ve been completely dead to the world when the alarm’s gone off. I hate it when that happens because it almost physically hurts to pull myself out of bed.

The doctor today told me that basically I’ve got 4 good years left and once I hit 35, it’s all over. She was joking. But not really.

That’s all there is, there is no more.

Edited to add: I just saw they posted the winners of the local blog award. Unfortunately, the Mutant is not a winner. But you guys are all so awesome for your votes and help. I appreciate it muchly. Thanks :)

Debt Management: The 5 Ws (and one H)

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the five w's.
The Five Ws by Jasmine Harris on Flickr

Managing debt is a big deal. Let’s not pretend otherwise because if you’re up to your eyeballs in bills and debt, the last thing I want to do is give you false hope. So, there you go. It’s hard work and it’s hard work that takes a long time. Personally, I’ve been involved in working on my own debt management for years, but it’s been the last two years since my separation and divorce that I’ve actually felt some control over it.

That being said, it’s had its pretty exhausting and stressful moments. And sometimes I get so fed up with the whole thing, I just want to ring up every card I have and say to hell with it all.

I don’t.

But I want to.

During one of my more recent money meltdowns, a lot of people made some excellent points. NicoleandMaggie, who are so wise, made this comment that has especially latched onto my brain:

“An important thing to think about is WHY pay debt down. You pay debt down because the interest rate is a drag on your finances and you’re better off when that is gone because you get to keep more of your money. It isn’t a race or a moral issue. There’s no reason to be preached at about it.”

I wish I had the words to describe what an eye-opening statement that was. It was like my eyes had been washed thoroughly and polished with some Windex for the first time in 30 years. It was like turning on the high-beams on the dark road of life. It was like… ok do you get the idea or do I go for more melodrama?

Anyways, since that comment was made five months ago, it’s been festering in my brain. And I haven’t actually addressed it. But this weekend, I saw Mysti’s post. And it felt so damn familiar. Everything stripped to the bare bones and it not being enough and all you want is just a little something nice and cheery because everything else sucks to pieces.

I remembered that post I made and I remembered the awesome comments and I thought it was way overdue to really sit and think about the 5 Ws (and one H) on my Debt.

Who will this affect?

Most directly, me. I pay almost $700 a month in debt payments (car, student loans, and credit cards). This is about a third of my take-home pay. It’s depressing have to allocate that high amount of money to what is mostly things of yesterday.I’m a control freak. Having control over that amount of money would make me feel a bit more secure.

Indirectly, it affects my parents as they hold some of the debt I carry. I hate that I owe them money.

And of course, it hurts my loved ones when I’m stressed and bummed and not smiling or cuddly. On a longer view, it could hurt my kids because I’d rather they inherit money from me instead of a whole lot of nothing.

When would you like to be debt-free?

This one is hard for me because of so many variables. I know my car is paid for next summer. After that, I get hazy. I want to pay off my parents so badly but the two credit cards I have left have insane APRs. I’d like to say I’d be completely debt-free before 2013 ends. So if I can’t be awesome like Nikki, maybe I can be Debt-Free by 33?

What are you willing to do?

I’m willing to track expenses and build good budgets off of them. I’m willing to identify large expenses ahead of time and save money for them. I’m willing to clip coupons and shop sales. I’m willing to curb impulse buying. I’m willing to take surveys. I’m willing to take books out from the library instead of buy them. I’m willing to watch the internet instead of cable. I’m willing to shop around for cell phone services. I’m willing to shop around for everything. I’m willing to keep the ac at higher temperatures longer hours, yell at my kids to turn off the lights, and keep the toaster and coffee maker and microwave oven unplugged. I’m willing to sometimes wash plastic baggies. I’m willing to pack lunch most of the time. I’m willing to cook more often. I’m willing to take advantage of free education and take classes to improve my money-making potential. I’m willing to not shy away from collecting child support.

I’m not willing to be absolutely miserable. I’m not willing to let my children go hungry or wear clothes is too small and too tight and too dirty. I’m not willing to delay medical treatment. I’m not willing to make a lot of stuff like makeup and cleaners and things. I’m not willing to go crazy with guilt when I purchase something. I’m not willing to monetize the blog (yet). I’m not willing to open another credit card and take on more consumer debt. I’m not willing to take on an extra job that will take the time I have with my kids from “some” to “none”.

Where are you getting the money from?

Well, there’s my paycheck from work. And now that things are finally in place, there’s Child Support. There’s also the occasional money gift. And there’s always money from little side ventures like merchandising, mystery shopping, survey-taking, and swagging. Oh, and coupons and ExtraCare Bucks.

Why do you want to do this?

Mostly, it’s a psychological issue. A lot of my debt is directly related to the Ex. Getting rid of it feels like getting rid of one of the few remaining remnants from our chaotic relationship. I also hate being in debt to anyone, much less my parents. I just feel like I’m too old for that kind of crap. Lastly, I feel like debt ties me down and restrains me.

The car, for instance. It drives me nuts I owe money on this car until next summer. I could be putting money into fixing it up or I could be putting money aside to completely replace it but with the debt, I can’t do anything other than pay it off. It’s also the reason I highly doubt I’ll ever buy a house again. Been there, done that, epic fail. My current rental situation is what dreams are made of but if it ever turns into a nightmare, I can easily get out of it no harm, no foul. Same thing applies if I decide I want to retire in China.

And of course, there’s the simple tangible aspect of having more money under my control and having the knowledge of what to do with it all. I am insanely frustrated with the fact I now truly understand money management and investment and can’t do any of it because my money is all tied up in the mistakes of yesteryear. I have three kids. I want them to feel secure and I want their futures to be somewhat solid. Not to mention, I have a lot of living to do (god willing) and I’d like to have the money to do it with.

How are you going to do this?

Well, I write about it a lot. I do this for two reasons: my perspective and your perspective. A lot of what I write is the equivalent of therapy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started a post with a problem and finished it with some sort of idea of a solution. And that’s before you all chime in with your brilliant suggestions! It’s for this reason I read so many personal finance bloggers. Of course, it’s hard to find exactly one I relate to perfectly, but that’s the beauty of it too.

On the technical side of it, it’s simple: I’m going to keep spending less than I earn and then use the surplus wisely– bulk up savings and pay back debt. And when I’m all done I’m going to buy a Lamborghini.

Kidding! Just making sure you’re still awake.

What about you? Have you ever thought about your 5 Ws (and one H)?

27.5 reasons I coupon

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10/366: Sunday Coupons
“Sunday Coupons” by TeamJTX on Flickr

Yesterday, while my kids were at my parents’ house enjoying the pool, I took advantage and went to the grocery store. Of course, I took coupons.

I know coupons and those who use them are pretty trendy these days. And there’s a whole television show mostly dedicated to those who abuse these little papers in ways most of us just can’t understand (75 deodorants and you already have 125 at home?).

But I have to tell you, I love my coupons. And I’ve loved them a very long time. After a trip like yesterday, I really can’t understand why using coupons isn’t a universal practice. Coupons are money.

I think I use my coupons in a pretty normal way and yesterday’s trip is my type of awesome shopping trip– the variety is wide and the savings substantial. I bought:

10 Lunchables, 1 Bag of Celery, 2 Ben & Jerry Ice Creams, 1 Can of Baking Powder, 2.5 pounds of Grapes, 2 bags of New England Coffee, 1 Bunch of Organic Rosemary, 1 Pint of Grape Tomatoes, 1 Onion, 1 Bag of Red Potatoes, 1 Pack of Bacon, 2.25 Pounds of Bananas, 2 Cans of Tomato Sauce, 2 Boxes of Baking Soda, 1.35 Pounds of Plums, 3 Lemons, 2 Bottles of Ocean Spray Juice Blends, 1 Box of Honey Nut Cheerios, 1 Box of Lucky Charms, 1 Box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 2 Boxes of Fiber One Chewy Bars, 2 Sure Deodorants, 1 Degree Deodorant (for Friend), 1 Dozen Organic Eggs, 2 4-packs of Mandarin Orange fruit cups packed in water, 2 Packs of Yoplait Granola Parfaits, 2 Almond Breeze Milks, 2 Packs of Yoplait Fiber One Yogurts, 1 Bottle of Fabuloso cleaner, and 2 Bottles of Palmolive.

I spent $88.27. I saved $77.13 or 47%. What you need to know is $27.50 of my savings were in clipped coupons. I don’t know about you, but $27.50 towards feeding my family and keeping my home clean(ish) is a good deal. None of the items I bought were things I bought solely because I had coupons. I needed and/or wanted everything here.

I know a bunch of you are probably cringing at some of the food I have listed here but you should know this isn’t because I coupon, it’s just the way I shop. I am not a health nut. I also absolutely hate being in the kitchen which reflects in my tendencies to shop for convenience foods. I hate shopping the perimeter of the supermarket. I do what I can where I can and don’t beat myself up for the rest.

The Lunchables, for instance, are the perfect example of this. I had no coupons for those. But my kids like them, the Deli had a huge line, and the ham they eat wasn’t on sale this week. I would’ve easily spent $10 on one pound of the ham alone. So, I said “Screw it” and bought the ten Lunchables at $1 each.

As for time and effort, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t count the amount of time I’m actually in the grocery store because I’m spending that time there whether I have coupons or not. I don’t always have the time to go to the grocery store once a week or more, although I wish I did because I’d save more money. I definitely don’t have the time to go to more than one supermarket a week. I also tend to be faster in a store when I coupon because I have an awesome list and ONLY stick to the list.

It’s hard for me to gauge the amount of time I actually spend a week clipping coupons because right now I’m in the process of transitioning into a binder. This is taking me forever because I have almost a year’s worth of coupon inserts saved and many are doubled thanks to my awesome Mom. In the past week or so, I’ve easily clipped over 400 coupons and I have more to go. I’ll probably time myself when I do yesterday’s bountiful bunch but I have a hunch it’s about one hour and I do it when it’s nice and quiet and the children are sleeping. That much time is for one of those weeks that has a ton of inserts like yesterday’s paper did. Not all weeks have so many coupons.

If you’d like to maybe try using coupons effectively, here are my suggestions.

  • Before you subscribe to a newspaper or go buy them, ask your neighbors/friends/co-workers/family you’re comfortable with and see often (once a week) if they get the Sunday paper and if they do, if they use the coupons. If they don’t, ask if they wouldn’t mind giving them to you. Free coupons are the best coupons. If  no one convenient has them, buy the paper or subscribe.
  • OK, save yourself the trouble and get a binder (they’re on sale right now with back to school clearances and stuff) and get some trading card holders. I didn’t use this system but now that I do I feel like a moron for not using it before. Don’t risk feeling like a moron. To give you a perspective on how many trading card holders you’ll need, I’m currently using about 45 pages one-sided. But, again, I’m using several months’ worth of inserts. You can probably do perfectly well with 10 to 20 pages. Sharon just set hers up and it took her only 45 minutes from start to finish (including clipping the actual coupons).
  • Every time you get a bunch of coupon inserts, take the time to go through them and clip the coupons for things you use regularly or would like to try. If you really don’t care about the brand, then make sure you clip all of the different coupons for the same type of thing so you have more opportunities to match coupons to a sale. If you’re brand loyal, the amount of time spent clipping will be cut but so will the amount of savings. It’s still worth doing! Clip them, sort them, and put them in their handy organizers.
  • Every time you have to go shopping, make a list of everything you need. Then, check the insert to see what, if any of it, is on sale, And finally, check your coupon binder to see what you have coupons for. You can do a happy dance if you have coupons for items that are also on sale because that’s where the magic happens.
  • When I head into the store, I have a very nice list organized by section and I have all of my coupons pulled and ready in a little coupon carrier I have. I actually only use two pockets in it– the one in front is for the coupons I’m turning over at the cashier and the other one is for the coupons I ended up not using for one reason or another. I have not yet taken my binder with me because I feel this would lead me to spend more time in the store and possibly to impulse buys.
  • At the register, I put all of the items that don’t have a coupon at the front, and the ones that do at the back. When it’s my turn, I explain to the cashier “All items behind such and such have coupons. Should I give them to you all at the end or would you like me to pair them up with the items?” Nine times out of ten their eyes light up with my suggestion and ask if I could please match them that would be awesome. So, I go and start matching. Now do you see why I put all of the non-coupon items up front? Buys me some time!

If you really want to get into the groove of coupons, you can use a website like SouthernSavers. It tracks all of the sales and matches coupons for you. It also highlights which items are REALLY cheap and so you might want to try and stock up on those a bit more than usual if it happens to be something you use often.

The reason you stock up when it’s on sale really low is because you don’t want to pay full-price for the item when you run out. Yes, you’ll be paying full-price for some items when you start using coupons but eventually, the number of items you pay full price for get smaller and smaller. On my list, only five items were full-price items. Everything else was either on sale, had at least one coupon, or was on sale and had at least one coupon.

I believe using coupons is like anything else. If you go into it with a bad attitude, you’re not going to get much out of it. But, if you’re willing to learn something and take the time to keep at it, I think you’ll be very pleased with the results.

Recently, GRS did an Ask the Readers post with the question: How much do you spend on food? The couple asking was spending $750 a month– for just two adults. JD’s answer wasn’t far off either. I was shocked.

On average, I spend $615 a month on food– and that includes dining out and other convenience eating I do. My average bill at a grocery store is only $255 a month and that includes all the cleaning products and things like that. Did I mention I have three kids?

So there you go; yesterday it was a savings of $27.50 but over a year, it’s much more. And it’s just too much for me to simply dismiss it as not for me without giving it a real solid try. If you’re pressed for money, I suggest you do too. It’s essentially extra income that’s not taxable!