Monthly Archives: February 2011

Spending Challenge: February Ends, March Begins

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Wi$e-Guy Money Roll

“Wi$e- Guy Money Roll” by Gnerk on Flickr

Holy Monday! I woke up today tired to the middles of my bones. I really could’ve used one more day off with nothing to do but relax. Oh well. Being in the office brings its own set of perks so I won’t try and dwell on it much. I tried drinking some coffee but it’s so yucky here I only managed to swallow down half a cup. It was a hectic, trying weekend with a birthday party on Saturday that was lots of fun, a BBQ at my parents’ house that was delicious, two days in a row with no naps, MutantDaughter with an ear infection that is clearing and MutantEldest seemingly coming down with his own “thing” even though I told him he’d better not even think about getting sick and he’d better have a serious talk with his throat and tell it to knock it off with the whole hurting every time he swallows thing. I also worked my booty off in the play room all weekend (forgot before pictures), hauling three bags of toys to my grandmother’s house (her best friend lives in a very poor part of town and likes to give the kids in her complex toys because the other families look after her) and setting one more aside for the Vietnam Veterans. It’s looking much better but I still have work to do. The kids like it though and that’s a good thing. Just have to teach them where to find their toys and to put them back when they’re done (repeat to infinity).

I was also fighting with a wave of gloom that just wouldn’t leave me alone, always sort of lurking right beneath the surface. It drives me crazy when I get like this and can’t shake it off. It is this complete feeling of resignation in a way and it can get overwhelming. Basically, I get so exhausted and frustrated and have no one to really share my troubles with (difference between this and burdening someone else) and I just feel like this is it, this is my life, and it’s freaking hard, but it’s not going to change—not any time soon, not in any real way. Everything under my roof, good and bad, relies on me and no one else. One person responsible for four lives. And like I’ve mentioned many times, I have an excellent support system in my family. Don’t get me wrong. MutantWino is the one who pays for MutantEldest to go to Karate and keeps him motivated (he goes too so they share this amazing thing together). MutantPirate has come to my rescue with one child or another’s pick-up or drop-off more times than I can count. And there are my MutantAbuelas—one who cares for my kids when they’re sick so I can go to work, cooks an occasional meal for us, and pays the lawn guy (she refuses to let me take over this even though I bring it up constantly. I’m never home when they go since it’s on a weekday and she’s basically told them to never ever bill me). My other grandmother drops in every once in a while with some snack or small meal she bought somewhere. She also slips me a ten or twenty every once in a while “to help out”. And of course, there are my parents. If it wasn’t for them and their own modest financial security, I honestly have no idea what my life would be like.  

But there’s a big difference in having support and having a team. I don’t know if this makes sense to you, but it’s the best way to describe it. I think of it like a basketball team. First of all, right off the bat, I’m short one player and it’s likely that fifth player spot will never be filled. Second of all, three of the four remaining players are rookies and so green they can often be more than a handicap than contributors. So that leaves one player in a game that requires five. And even if that player is a star player, a star player can only play at top quality for so long. Of course as my fellow teammates get older and stronger, they’ll be bigger and better contributors. But, the fact remains I’ll always remain one man short and the co-captain slot will always be empty. Of course, no co-captain is better than a harmful co-captain but it’s still a gloomy predicament either way and sometimes, like this weekend, it all gets to be a bit too much and I’m prone to headaches, lots of sleep, and small, sudden weeps I manage to hide from the kids with expert skill.

But, I know what you really want to know is—how’d my month go? Today is technically the last day of February but I get paid once a month on the last day of the month and that is my first day of my fiscal month. So, my February is over financially speaking and I ended with about $5 left in my spending budget. I counted all of the money I have in cash, and all of the money I have in my ING checking, and all of the money I have in my credit union checking and I have managed to accumulate…

$876.34!

This is actually $31.51 more than my calculations predicted I would have so I must’ve missed some sort of income by accident or incorrectly entered an expense or something like that. Either way, I have almost $900 to start March with! This is super duper exciting for me, you have no idea. I haven’t heard from Ex yet about what to expect income-wise this month so I still don’t know if I’ll have to borrow from my parents again this month or if I’ll actually be able to begin paying them back. I’m of course hoping for the latter because the former totally sucks. So on that note, I’m going to go ahead and give myself $650 for a spending budget this month as I’d originally planned for February but will scale back to $500 again if Ex falls below the amount I need. If the amount is even lower than I would need after scaling back, I’ll have to go to my parents again. It’s all about buffers, baby. Budgets make buffers.

Every month I try and figure out what the big challenges could be for me, financially, in the coming month. This month, I think it’s going to be food. I’ve pretty much used up all of the meat that was in my freezer with the exception of the pork that’s currently in my crock pot and a couple of grouper filets. I also did a pretty good job of raiding the pantry, freezer, and fridge so it’s definitely time to stock up on food in general. I’m completely out of milk, eggs,  juice, tortillas, fruits and fresh veggies, and the aforementioned meats (also, ice cream but we all know where that lands on the whole need/want spectrum). I’m down to the last scrapes of coffee, bread, sugar, and rice. I still have lots of frozen veggies, pasta, beans, shredded cheese, tuna, ham, peanut butter, jelly, and canned tomatoes. SouthernSavers and coupons, prepare yourselves! The other worrier for me is Gas. Prices have skyrocketed and even though the least expensive gas station in the entire city is around the corner from my house, it’s at $3.38 a gallon and that was yesterday. Who knows where it’s at today? I am on Empty of course and have to fill up tonight.  Last month, I put gas in twice—the first was a fill up and lasted 15 days. The second was a bit over half and lasted 8 days. We’ll see how it all unfolds one way or another. I feel like there’s dramatic music in the background and someone saying “These are the days of our lives…”

In crafty news, the hooks are sleeping and I’m still tracking yarn costs. The prices have been pretty steady with no major sale the past few weeks I’ve been tracking which means a really good sale must be right around the corner right? I’m really hoping to find a Buy One Get One Free deal on Red Heart Super Saver or Caron Simply Soft. Those are the most affordable options and I know the material’s not the most luxurious thing in the world but my Mom made it clear she wants this thing for heavy duty wear.

Lastly, in book news: I am still hacking through The Passage. So far, I love/hate it. It’s one tragedy after another but it’s crazy and cool too. It’s LONG as hell (766 pages) and I’m just itching to know if humans stand a chance or what because it looks pretty horrible right now (page 501). It’s also not helping my super gloomy mood with all of this death and destruction and humans acting crazy. It’s sort of depressing in an inevitable apocalyptic sort of way kind of like my love life. The Lonely Polygamist is waiting in the wings and I’m kind of extra excited to read Outlander after Molly mentioned it’s super spicy in the comments. Oooh a sexy book? I haven’t read anything sexy in ages! AND I just found out I won a book on Goodreads! How exciting is that? I won something! And it’s a book! There’s also Soulless which I’m really intrigued by and can’t wait to read it. MutantEldest finished The Lost Hero this weekend and started on The Red Pyramid so there’s that to read too. Too many books? Never! By the way, what say you? Should I actually give myself a new reading goal this year or do I just keep going and see how many I can take down this year?

8/52: FO Friday + Babbling

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I don’t know if I can channel how emphatically I’m thinking this but just know it’s really, really heartfelt when I say, “Thank the sweet eight pounds six ounce baby Jesus it is Friday.” I don’t know even know why really but I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer this week and I’m just done. It was so hard to pull myself from bed and get into the office today, not because I don’t like my job because I do—a lot actually, but because I’m just worn the heck out. MutantDaughter spent the entire day sleeping yesterday. And when I say that, I’m completely serious. I think she was awake maybe 2, 3 hours max all day yesterday. She got a fever in the afternoon and her left ear started leaking this brownish clearish pinkish stuff that dries into a sticky crusty disaster. This with the complete and total sleepiness which is not anything like her at all freaked me out a bit and I called the doctor. I had a prescription for some ear drops from the previous battle with this same exact ear and same exact situation and they told me fill it, start it, and have her come in tomorrow. I’d already anticipated a need for the doctor earlier that day and begged Ex to please schedule and take her and he agreed (Shock! Awe!) so I went and spent over an hour in Walgreen’s. This is not good for the pocket book and I admit I did some stress-related shopping on top of the only item needed—Q-tips. I spent $13.90 so I’ve got $10 to go on my Spending Challenge and that should work fine for some milk and eggs. Doctor says it looks like a middle ear infection and the ear drum opened up and is spewing everything out. Delicious. Just have to keep doing what I’m doing and it’ll clear up soon.

I’m really hesitant to start guesstimating because it feels like I’m taunting fate, but it looks like I might have managed to accumulate about a $700 rollover. I’ll have a concrete number on Monday when I get paid and the new month begins and will announce it with much pomp and circumstance. I’m trying to figure out a budget for next month’s non-bill expenses and my first attempt was almost twice what I’d spent this month so that got scrapped. By the way, every month I do this and every month I think I’m budgeting conservatively and then add it up and oops! Just goes to show you, we really underestimate financial numbers. After reworking it a couple of times, I’m down to about what I’d initially planned as a budget for February– $650. I’d like to try this number out and see how it does. This month has been ok overall and has made me feel a bit better about maybe making $650 a regular number. It is, after all, a 30% increase and I was able to manage ok with the $500. It does make shopping a much more carefully executed sort of thing in that I have to do thinks like consider all kinds of things that could possibly come up in a month that would require some sort of cash. But, I guess that’s the point. It’s supposed to be like that instead of some mindless activity. This is conscious spending, Mutant. It’s not more work than impulsive spending, it’s different work. But, that’s the Expenses side of my life.

On the Income side, Ex is moving into his parents’ home this weekend so he doesn’t have to pay rent which may bode well for me. I’m trying to see if maybe he’ll give me a guess as to how much and when he’ll pay me so I can then underestimate it by about 20% and plan for that. Maybe I seem cynical or whatnot but this is the kind of guy who got out of his lease by lying about getting a job in New York. The reality is on March 1, he’ll owe me well over $3,000 and yeah, if I’m ever going to get my life on solid ground, I need that money and for him to pay me consistently. He did tell me the salary at the new job is at least twice what he’s got now plus commission so he should be steadier in that sense, especially when the garnishment goes into effect, but he doesn’t have a start date yet and I don’t have a court date. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it just flickers or grows really dim threatening to disappear completely.

I’m working on The Passage. It’s Creepy (capital C intended). And it’s got lots of yucky bits which I find fun and hard to read at the same time. At first, the book was sort of driving me crazy because I swear to you he throws like one hundred characters at you in under fifty pages. Characters are always hard for me to manage in my brain, I have no idea why. I considered writing notes but figured I’d probably just lose the paper anyways and besides it’ll settle to just a few eventually and it has so that’s nice except that it’s all done quite tragically and horribly so that’s not nice but hey, it’s fiction and fun at that. The library has Red Pyramid ready for Eldest and an organizing book, a crochet book, and The Lonely Polygamist ready for me. Not to mention nice crispy brand new copies of Outlander and Soulless and PostSecret are waiting for me in my bookshelves. Oh yes, books and books and books galore.

My kitchen remains clean, my dining table remains clear. I almost screwed it all up last night being so exhausted from the day but I ripped myself a new one about how I’ve done this too many times to know better and that I know exactly what’ll happen if I let things slide just one night. It’s never just one night, don’t kid yourself. And that was that. I got to work and cleared everything away in about twenty minutes before collapsing exhausted in my bed. Tonight shall be Frozen Box Pizza Night so I won’t have to worry about dirtying the kitchen at least. I’ll likely stop at the library for some kiddo movies. Tomorrow there’s the birthday party. It should be a nice weekend. I’m going to finish sorting out the rest of what’s going back into the hall closet though I’m pretty sure I’ve cleared away almost everything that’s getting cleared.

By the way, I was thinking about creating a concrete Chores Plan for the kids. The two this would apply to are the 7 and 4 year old. What I was thinking of was basic chores that they are required to do because they’re part of the team and we all have responsibilities. But, I thought it might be a good idea to add a couple of things they could do to earn money. They both get a small allowance ($4 for Eldest, $1 for Daughter) and I was thinking this might allow them to supplement their earnings. The tasks would be small and the reward would be a quarter each I’m thinking. Ideas on age-appropriate things they can do? Right now, they’re responsible for making their beds in the morning, cleaning their plates and place mats after dinner, hanging their towels, putting away their folded laundry, and putting their dirty clothes in the hamper. Things I was thinking of as additional include watering the plants, feeding the fish, emptying the bathroom trash can, help putting away Baby’s folded laundry, sweeping piles into the dust pan and trash, emptying the dishwasher of the kid stuff, wiping their bathroom counter (so gross with the neon toothpaste), and…

I’m trying to think of something for the toys but I think that might only become clear when March is over and the playroom is organized. Any other ideas? What kind of child labor do you have going in your house?

I’m going to kill two birds with one stone and use my FO Friday picture as my weekly photo set. Some might call it cheating, but crocheting IS a part of my life so I think it counts. Otherwise, you’d get a boring picture of a bird on a car.

An ancient friend of mine’s little brother had a baby last week so I made her something. It’s kind of a big deal when the baby siblings have kids, I think. I haven’t had that experience yet but I’m pretty sure it’ll be really moving and sort of crazy if/when that happens with MutantWino and/or MutantPirate, my younger brothers. I think that’ll just make me feel really old. Anyways, the hat and booties were pretty simple to whip up but I’m a perfectionist and each one took two attempts. They’re from the book Crochet from the Heart and I think I may add this to the Wish List of books to own (borrowing it from library right now) because it’s full of very solid basic patterns that are insanely easy to modify, customize, etc to your liking. I think this type of thing is the best way to really learn crochet and so far I’m much more pleased with the book than I’d anticipated. These are my favorite kinds of books, the ones that at first glance you dismiss but then they surprise you again and again.

Quick, Happy, Spending Challenge Update

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jackpot

“Jackpot” by @Alex on Flickr

I got my Amazon disbursement today for a few things I sold– $65!! Instead of allowing this to supplement my budget, I’m only allowing myself to remove the shipping costs from my money spent this month since this more than covers it and I’ll add the rest of it to my rollover amount to help cushion any income issues with Ex. I added the $5.62 I spent yesterday at CVS stocking up on my beloved Purex 3-in-1 (6 boxes, 120 COMPLETE loads no additional fabric softener or dryer sheets needed) and I have $24 left for the month! This means now I can buy milk, eggs, and pancake syrup all of which we’re out of and all of which we consume heavily during weekends :) I’m so happy!!

I have to go to my other office now so I don’t know if I’ll be able to update again but I’m just so excited about this tiny development I had to share!

Hump Day Happenings

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Syringe.

“Syringe” by VioletInk on Flickr

It’s Wednesday already. The days, weeks, months they’re just soaring past. March is right here, I just can’t believe it. I thought I would have a WIP Wednesday to show you but I left my crochet in the car and wouldn’t have had much to show you anyways. I started up an experimental pair of baby booties but I might rip them back and work on some requested baby mittens instead. I shipped another item I sold on Amazon yesterday and I bought a book for the birthday party, but went with a less expensive book that is more in line with the child’s interests and when it comes to books finding things in line with a kid’s interests is the absolute most important thing to consider, price be damned.

I have $15 left for the month’s challnge budget. I still have enough gas, food, and diapers which tend to be my biggest budget components. I am going to stock up on the detergent product which should cost me about $7.65 with taxes. But, it looks like I may make it after all. For me, the last days of the month are the hardest—not because your money’s low or whatever but because the temptation is actually higher. It’s way too easy to think, “Well the month is practically over. I almost went the WHOLE month without busting my budget and look at all of this money I’ve managed to save. It won’t be THAT bad if I bust the budget just a little.” Previous experience has taught me otherwise. Last time I did this, I went over big time (40%!) and wrote it off as no big deal because look what a good job I did regardless (i.e. it was still way less than my typical month, I still saved a lot of money, etc.). Gave myself an inch for “necessities” on the fourth to last day of the month and took a mile by the time July was said and done.

I think I know what I’m going to do about the closet. I really don’t feel right working so hard all month long to then go ahead and ruin everything by blowing my budget. I know finishing the closet is important and by not buying the tracks and installing them this weekend, I’m screwing with my de-cluttering schedule but that’s not as important as financial discipline and learning to really get all of this to work. Besides, with the birthday party on Saturday, and my dad generally busy on Sundays, I don’t even think it would be plausible to do the project this weekend and it might be much wiser to just wait until next weekend, when the kids will be with their father, to do it. I can work the cost of the project into my March budget and also include a budget for the March project space and learn to work with budgets once and for all. There just always seems to be an excuse to blow a budget and it’s not right, not if what I want requires discipline. And let’s face it, succeeding at anything requires discipline. If I buy the closet stuff and spend $65, I’ll blow by budget by 13%. Far less than the ridiculous 40% the first time I went at this but it’s still blowing the budget. I can cover it up and make it look nice with all sorts of excuses and justifications but broken is broken. I don’t think I’m punishing myself, by the way. I think I’m just making a practical and carefully considered decision. Maybe if the percentage wasn’t in the double digits, I’d be ok doing it but 13% is too high for me to be comfortable with. To compensate for the jumble in schedule I’ve decided since the closet will likely run five days into March, I will give myself permission to include the Playroom into my decluttering schedule the last five days of February. I can totally live with that.

I finished the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series last night which is good because my son is already about halfway through The Lost Hero (book one of the second Olympians series) and the library just emailed me this morning that The Red Pyramid (book one of the Egyptian series) is waiting for me. Our library holds books for two weeks so I’m going to let Eldest get closer to finishing The Lost Hero before picking up Red Pyramid. Besides, I started The Passage last night and am intrigued. I also had the completely delightful surprise of finding a friend of mine bought me Soulless and Outlander and they arrived at my house Monday. I also finished Diary of a Wimpy Kid (cute) and V for Vendetta (not cute, but totally awesome) so I think that brings me to 12 books which means my goal of 11 this year was way low. If I keep up this insane pace, I could have more than 70 books read this year!! I doubt I’ll actually keep it up, but I am curious how much I can do. And since I’m tracking my books here, I came up with the brilliant idea of creating an “I’ve Read…” notebook for Eldest. I figured I’d write all of the books he’s read this year so far and then he can maintain it as he goes, writing the names and the dates he finishes them. Can you imagine if you’d kept one of these since you were 7? I sure wish I did.

I’m in an admittedly strange mood today—sad but calm too. About a week or so ago I realized I was behaving very similarly to a person I dislike and I was shaken. Couple this with the fact I’ve been reading a story about mythology which in itself deals with archetypes and life lessons and I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. It may sound silly that a middle school book gets a 30 year old pensive but inspiration often comes from the most unexpected sources. There was a little concept that sort of burrowed into my brain and there was a moral that rang around in my skull.

The concept was of the fatal flaw—a characteristic of a character that may lead to its downfall. In my case, as in so many others, I’m pretty sure it’s my pride. I’ve always felt it gets in the way of so much. And it ties with the moral of letting one find their own path. In other words, I think I’m a bit of a control freak because of my pride. When you hear the term “letting go” you probably hear it as associated with the release of a grudge, pain, or other negative emotion. But in my case, I need to let myself go. I think I entrench myself too deeply in the lives of others, “helping” and “suggesting” and “opining” a bit too much. Everyone needs to forge their own way (the moral) and it’s scary to let the ones you love do just that. What I need to accept is my being in control of a situation does not guarantee a success and in many cases, it doesn’t even guarantee I’ll actually be in control—it’s just a perception. I need to quit that and learn to step back more. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut until asked. Unsolicited advice is the worst kind and it’s not made any more pleasant wrapped up and disguised as “not advice”.

Hey, how about I change the subject and share a creepy encounter of the actual kind?

Alright then, today was my medical screening at work. They do things like take your blood pressure (117/35, I’m practically dead), measure your height (I grew an inch! Or maybe it was the sneakers), have you step on a scale (heavier than I’d like but still in the healthy range), wrap a tape measure around your middle (under the “normal” guideline but I’m over my height’s ideal waist size by more than a couple of inches), and take your blood (the really fun part). At some point, I get the results back, enter them online and get some sort of health insurance credit thing. So, I went and did the whole thing.

When I got to the lady that draws blood I joked, “So do we get cookies and juice for this one too?” And she very seriously explained no, we don’t. Her company simply provides a service to our company and several other companies but things like cookies and juice are not what they provide. She further went on explaining our company could provide those things and probably should but it was not their responsibility. She went on some more explaining blood banks do those things because you’re often left woozy thanks to the large amounts of blood they draw but they don’t take nearly so much. She was extremely serious. She wasn’t smiling. She was monotonous and made me feel like I was the dumbest girl she’s ever come across in all of her years of providing this invaluable service.

Eventually she stuck me, filled one tube, and switched it with another. That’s when I just barely heard this… slight… noise. She noticed I noticed because she perked up and said, “Did you hear that sound? That sound of the blood going into the tube?” I nodded. She sighed and smiled, “I love that sound– the sound of the blood going into the tube. I absolutely love it.” And that was that. She was done, bandaged me, took my form, and sent me on my way.

Weekend Update: Relaxing, Planning, Budgeting

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Well, la di da and Happy Monday to you all. It looks like I’m sort of emerging from the foggy funk I’ve been in the past several days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not by any stretch of the imagination all cheery and upbeat with a super terrific can- do attitude. I’m just sort of in my no-nonsense, enough with the excuses and the bullcrap sort of frame. Can you dig it?

I had a nice weekend. Overall relaxing by way of crocheting, visiting with friends, reading, and some more picking up and cleaning. I cleaned so well I think I’m going to crate a Family Challenge to keep the dining table clear for one whole week. Think the kids will go for it? Maybe if I bribe them with my famous ice cream sundaes at the end of the challenge? I actually completed two small crochet projects this weekend but I’ll save the full pictures so I can participate in a FO Friday for the first time this year. And, I might even have a WIP Wednesday to share.

I decided I might as well and do some crocheting until the blanket gets started and right now I’m knocking out some baby gifts for friends and still trying to figure out a great bracelet for a friend of mine. I’m pretty sure I’m going to try some sort of granny rectangle but we’ll have to see how it works out size-wise. Book-wise, I’m almost done with V for Vendetta (I’m putting off finishing it as much as possible, it’s so good) and I also started Battle of the Labyrinth. My son just spoke with me and gleefully bragged about he finished the series yesterday and has already begun The Lost Hero, the first book of the second Olympians series.

My hall closet is mostly empty. My living room is not but at least it’s mostly organized. My dad donated 16’ of shelving and their brackets to me this weekend. I just need to buy the tracks that go on the wall. Cue Spending Challenge Update!

I tend to be more spendy when the kids are with their father. This has always been especially true when I haven’t imposed some sort of spending restraint on myself. By the way, I think it’s about high time I stop calling it spending challenges and spending diets and spending restraints and just face it for what it is—a damn budget. Some months it’s going to be tighter than others but the fact is telling yourself you only have x amount of dollars to spend one month is a budget. Wrong? Right?

Anyways, back to the update. First of all, my car was ready on Friday. I paid my mechanic $462.93. $236.32 was an outstanding balance. My bill for the new repair (replacing the power steering hose and the oil change) came to $453.22. So, the other $226.61 was half of this amount. This put a dent into the money I’d been setting aside but this is what those cushions are for. I’m going to go ahead and pay the rest of this next month because I need to maintain some sort of cash cushion in place to buffer Ex’s income shortfalls. But, ok I just realized this isn’t part of the challenge so cue the REAL challenge update. Yeah!

I actually managed to not spend anything until Sunday. And then I spent:

  • $30 on gas
  • $20.25 for breakfast with a friend
  • $6.42 on newspapers for coupons (one specific very high-value coupon but there’s a couple more in there I’ll happily use)
  • $26.97 on grocery items I ran out of including much needed toilet paper

This comes to $89.26 in spending; however, I got an Amazon payment of $8.02 for one of the items I shipped earlier in the month. I’m crediting this to my spending challenge money because I spent money to make money and I think they should even out in that sort of scenario. Basically, I’ve got $30 left for the last seven days of the month, half a tank of gas, and decent amounts of food.

There’s a birthday party this weekend for the son of a friend of mine I haven’t seen in over a year.  I’m a bit torn on what to do here. On the one hand, I want to give him a book because that’s my standard kids’ birthday present. Books cost money. The one I particularly want to give him comes in at about $11 give or take. On the other hand, I obviously have the supplies on hand to make him something. I have Amazon prime so I have until early Wednesday to make a decision. What do you think? He’s celebrating his seventh birthday. Do they ever get too old for stuffed toys?

For groceries, there are a couple of things I’m out of which I need to pick up like milk and eggs (coupons for both) and I’m taking advantage of the big Purex sale this week to stock up on my absolute favorite laundry item in the world (also, the ONLY laundry item I need and that’s so awesome).

I think I might make it. I might cut it really super duper close, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to make it. That is, of course, if I don’t finish the closet project this month and here is my damn quandary. By the way, before I continue I am finding it hilarious the always grumpy untenureds have a post up today about their thoughts on external effects of spending—specifically not having any free time as a way to drastically cut spending.

 You know I’m on a mission to get rid of as much “extra” and “unnecessary” in my house (and life too) as possible. To make sure I actually do this thoroughly, I’ve imposed a sort of restriction on myself to do only one room a month—no more, no less. This month is the hall closet. The majority of the de-cluttering work in this area is done. I can probably afford to go through my Halloween and Christmas décor to eliminate a few things even further but what’s really looming over me is how to put everything back.

The hall closet I have is deep and makes much more sense as a coat room although that itself is sort of dumb in a hot, tropical climate. It has a shelf and clothes rod all around. But that’s it for shelving. I think this is what’s really ruined my past organizing attempts in this place. The shelf is high and hard to reach so I try and put stuff I need rarely up there. The problem is, everything else goes on the floor in piles. This sort of system makes the majority of things either completely inaccessible or very difficult to access. In other words, it’s dysfunctional. It’s clear I need shelves. And now I have them, but I need to purchase a crucial part—the tracks which go for $9.54 each at Home Depot. I’m pretty sure I’ll need 4-6 depending on final measurements and may need to purchase the screws. I’ve estimated the cost to come out to $65 on the high end. Budget buster.

If I go ahead with this project, and Ex doesn’t give me another penny, my spreadsheet tells me I’ll have about a $600 cushion to rollover into next month. This is not the $1,000 I wanted but that’s been out of the question since my friend and I discovered my car was leaking power steering fluid pretty steadily.

What do I do?

My thinking goes like this. If I buy the tracks, I can install the system this weekend with help from my dad and a friend. This means, I can declare the closet complete by the end of the month and can begin to plan for next month’s target—the massive playroom and adjoining laundry closet. I also may want to learn from my experience and budget for some type of organizing expense to occur next month. I most likely won’t need it because there is a good enough amount of storage in there as-is, it’s just not being utilized properly, but you never know and I had re-organzing related expenses when I did the kitchen project so it’s clearly not unwise to think about.

If I don’t buy the tracks, I won’t be able to call the closet complete until next weekend—the first weekend of March. In the meanwhile, I’ll be wanting to start the playroom despite the fact the hall closet contents would still be in the living room. Not only that but I’d have to include the closet’s expense with the March budget and I already know I have to pay the rest of the car repair next month and may have some expenses in the playroom. I also remain clueless as to what to expect for income from Ex next month (I’d ask but what he says doesn’t mean anything).

Thoughts?

7/52: Kids at Work

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Assignment: Draw a picture of your family and practice writing your name. She drew herself, her two brothers, my mom, and me. I love the way she writes her name. She writes it meticulously, tiny, and very prettily.

Monkey see, monkey do, of course. He usually makes me write Mommy and all of their names but this time he was content coloring next to his sister.

Really quick spending challenge update. Some light groceries, shipping items sold on Amazon, diapers, toothpaste, and deodorant all had to be purchased since my last update leaving me with $112.86 to go. Eleven more days. No kids this weekend which can either go extremely well or extremely bad. Already turned my best friend down on an invitation to an Arts Festival and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to celebrate another friend’s birthday at a restaurant on Saturday.

I am pretty sure I’m going to have to adopt this challenge at least another month, if not a few more. I don’t want to because this has taken a lot of work to keep at these levels and it’s been pretty stressful as well, but the fact is I have no idea what to expect from Ex financially anymore. He made another small payment the other day and even that was a hundred dollars less than he’d initially told me. He also threw two pieces of news at me: One that he get a new job with a well-known communications company (cable/internet/phone type of place) and two that he would most likely move back with his parents. Moving back with his parents should free up significant income for him hopefully meaning I will be able to have more dependable income from him; however, he has been rather vague about what the pay at the new job would be like besides defining it as ”more solid” whatever that means.

I am now in debt with my parents not only because they have been helping me cover the gaps in Ex’s income but because there was a last-minute decision to re-enroll the kids in their private school this year meaning a registration fee I hadn’t been saving for because I was under the impression they weren’t going. So, that will add to the debt I owe them and because of their own financial situation, I can’t let this debt hang in there while I demolish my interest-laden debt. This also means I have to save for next year’s registration fee. This won’t be a problem going forward except that Baby is still in daycare. When he begins the school this August, daycare costs will free up but will have to go to all of this other stuff. I haven’t even mentioned summer camp which seems like an absolute no way Jose. Oh yeah, and the $1,000 I owe the lawyer.

So, right now I have the delightful scenario that involves the following: severely reduced and unreliable income from Ex, additional expenses, and additional debt. Not to mention my car is at the mechanic right now while they try to figure out why it’s leaking power steering fluid. It’s also getting a tune-up since she’s just under 110K miles. I don’t foresee being able to contribute any snowball to my debt this year. In other words, I find myself in the midst of a financial shitstorm. As a matter of fact, I worked out the absolute best situation income-wise: Ex pays the outstanding child support and pays the full amounts every month for the rest of the year. This will allow me to rebuild my crisis fund, repay my parents’ debt, the lawyer, and set aside next year’s registration fees and have $2440 leftover which will likely have to be set aside for my car (or depending on how bad the situation is right now, pay the car repair). In this best case scenario, the first snowball payment would be able to go out in August this year. The worst case scenario is that Ex pays me nothing at all the rest of the year and I end up declaring bankruptcy. So, they tell me to look in the middle and try to figure out what is most likely to happen. In that case, I calculate Ex will pay about half what he owes every month which would mean: I would have to adopt the strict spending budget for the rest of the year and will be at best breaking even on expenses until August at which point I could start repaying my parents’ debt and barely make a dent. I will be in no position to pay next year’s registration fees when they are due. This, I think, is simply a more realistic worst case scenario. I’m frustrated and nauseated.

The fact my financial health is still very much adversely affected by Ex is absolutely infuriating. I keep cutting and cutting to the bone to make ends meet, and he has the audacity to tell me he shouldn’t have to live like a pauper (while he talks to me on the newest iPhone from his laptop online in his luxury condo with a bay view with the giant LCD TV blaring ESPN in the background). All I want is to be able to get this debt off my back and it feels like every time I get close to picturing the freedom, tasting it, dreaming about it, the debt digs its claws deeper and even manages to grow. I keep trying to think of ways to increase income because that seems the only alternative left, but can’t really come up with much else besides selling my stuff bit by bit. Having kids and a full-time job makes part-time work practically impossible to have. I don’t know how many places would be willing to hire someone who can only work every Wednesday and every other weekend. When things get like this, I feel like everything is futile.

This sort of thing also makes me want to throttle myself because this right here is Instant Gratification at work. The fact is, fixing debt takes time. I know this, but I battle accepting what that really means. It means definitely not this year. It means, maybe, next year. It means, most likely, two years from now. It means slow and steady is the only option. So why do I get myself like this? I’m not even sure but I do know I’ve worn myself out.

I stayed a bit late in the office yesterday and was rewarded with this:

Empowering Spending- The Yarn Edition

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Crochet Wallet by JKR1205 on Etsy

I’ve hemmed and hawed so many times about whether or not to begin a Grocery price book. Right now, I don’t and instead rely solely on SouthernSavers to make my grocery decisions. This saves me a good amount of money but it’s probable I could save even more if I did indeed maintain a grocery price book. Why don’t I? The sheer number of items I would need to track puts me off. It’s not just going through and actually doing the tracking (labor intensive), it’s also the practicality of storing that information when I’ve accumulated it. Besides, if I were to sit and do this myself, that would mean I’d have to shop the circulars myself, as well as match the coupons removing all of the convenience the free website gives me. For me, it doesn’t jibe.

But, after a little project I did today, I’ve learned this method can be applied to practically any shopping area and could be incredibly useful for anything that is consumed and needs replenishing.

For Christmas, I promised my mother I would make her a throw. We chose a pattern but because of money restrictions, I haven’t bought the yarn for it much less started it. Today, I thought it might be a good idea to price out some of the possible contenders I would use for her blanket from the weekly ads. Turns out, all four are on sale this week at the two main craft stores. Here is what I did first:

Hmm, when you round up the price per yard, they all come to a penny per yard. Interesting. But then, I realized this wasn’t telling me what the cost of my project was going to be. I needed to add some more information. So, I did and came out with this:

That is a totally different animal! If I went out today and bought the yarn for the blanket, the cheapest I can get it is $32 before taxes. If I hadn’t made these calculations, I could’ve spent as much as $80! I wouldn’t have actually spent that but I would’ve been confused about the value I was getting.  Now, I’m pretty sure I can actually do better than this because I have seen sales like Buy One, Get One. So, I’m going to keep tracking the ads. I wish I thought of this sooner! I am hoping a price I like pops up in the first week or two of March because I’m participating in a Spending Challenge this month, but I also really want to get this throw done before Mother’s Day.

There’s another pro to having decided to do this: these are the yarns I traditionally work with for gifts anyways (the one without project cost I wouldn’t consider for this project but I use frequently enough to warrant tracking) so I’m doing myself a big service tracking these prices over several ads so I can understand the sales cycles at the craft stores and know a good deal when I see one.

This is the main reason people are encouraged to keep grocery price books. The problem remains however, the number. I’m tracking five items here. That’s it. Once I’ve tracked this long enough to see a price cycle emerge, I can figure out the best price for each and even write them in my handy mini notebook that’s in my purse and I’m good. This is convenient, practical, and easy. This makes me an empowered consumer. I am taking the power of information out of the store’s hands and putting it in my own. The store can no longer tell me a price is good, I can.

Outside of groceries, what sorts of things can/do you apply this to? Do you have a hobby you could apply this strategy to? I’m thinking of applying this to something like our wardrobes. Too often, I find myself running out to buy something for the kids because they need it right now and paying whatever I have to instead of stocking up, and discarding, on a regular and even basis. And unlike grocery stores, I think perusing clothing stores is actually fun. Going with the sole intention of price tracking instead of purchasing might be a nice thing indeed.

By the way, I understand for many people this is a big ol’ “Well, DUH!” kind of thing. But, I figure if it’s not that obvious to me, it might not be so glaringly obvious to someone else. There’s a big difference between someone writing about their awesome grocery price book and then quickly telling you at the very end you can adapt this to anything, than someone showing you how they adapted a common strategy like a grocery price book to something else in their lives.

Books, books, books– What hooks?

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I love reading...

“I love reading” by Luke-rative on Flickr

If there’s one thing about blogging is that it brings to light certain aspects of personal behavior. I’ve noticed I’m pretty obsessive about things in a sort of manic-depressive way and balance is difficult for me but something I’m striving to do. Right now, I’m obsessed with two things: getting my life together once and for all (that’s sort of an oxymoron, I know) and books. I was crocheting like a mad woman and haven’t abandoned it yet but I promised my mother a throw and because of my spending restraints and income restrictions, I am putting off buying the yarn and therefore beginning the throw until next month. And then I tried making my best friend some bracelets because she asked me to but I haven’t been happy with either one I’ve tinkered with. So, in between the sorting and the trashing and the donating, I’ve been reading. A lot.

And I’m not stopping. My Active Requests at the library is 11 books long with another 18 in hibernation until I’m ready for them. And that’s just from going through Amazon’s Top 25 books of 2010 and requesting suggestions on Facebook. I should be able to maintain a pretty brisk pace even while working on the throw because I can’t really work on the throw on the train.  And I don’t want to take on another crochet project until the blanket is complete. I figure keeping myself stocked with books will keep me from wanting to start some small project. That should all change in about April though when I need to make a few Mother’s Day projects.

It’s been fun reading like crazy again. I have to admit, I’m having so much fun with the Percy Jackson books. They are ridiculously easy to read– I read The Titan’s Curse in one seating, on the same day I finished Sea of Monsters. They’re wild and silly but fun and there’s no stupid female character I want to throttle– except Aphrodite but that’s totally understandable. I actually dreamed about gods last night but I can’t remember anything. I think my car blew up, but I can’t remember if that happened in the gods dream or another unrelated dream. I was having so much fun with my dreams, waking up was hard. MutantEldest decided to torture me and is returning The Battle of the Labyrinth to his school library to get The Last Olympian before I finish it because he wants to finish the series before I do. So, I requested the last two books from the public library system. We’ll see if I can catch up after all but the way he’s been reading, I seriously doubt it.

It is really fun having a shared interest with your child, especially since it’s books and most of the people I work with or am friends with just don’t read. Yes I have to read younger books but who cares? They’re fun and I have the perfect excuse! And Percy Jackson has been the best bonding experience because I have always been a Greek mythology nerdcase. So, I find it totally amusing to chat with my son, listening to him fantasize about Posedion being his dad and how if I were a half-blood he’d bet I’d be Athena’s kid (swoon). I want to have this shared love with all three of my kids. I’m enough of a book freak that I think I can offer enough variety to them to find something that interests them, I believe everyone can find something they love to read if they just tried, and I’m persistent. It’s the same reason I am determined to become involved in children’s literacy programs as I become Financially Independent and this goal is a primary motivator for me to reach that status (afford to be generous).

I know I always ask, but anyone have book suggestions out there? I’d love to hear them. Really I would. And if they’re YA let me know, just keep in mind my son’s only 7. Yes, he’s reading Percy Jackson but it’s pretty light and fluffy. He also read Diary of a Wimpy Kid which I’ll be starting tomorrow on the train. And I’ve gotten him started on A Series of Unfortunate of Events too. Now I know what it must’ve been like for my Mom to have me as a book-devouring daughter. Keeping up is tough!

I know, I know! Valentine’s Day and all that

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I made pink heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes for the kids yesterday morning and stuck Valentine’s cards in their lunch boxes. I think dinner is going to be some sort of taco thing and we’ll have some ice cream sundaes for dessert. I feel like maybe I should do more but… eh.

Ok, maybe I’ll whip up some delicious brownies. From a box. What? It’s better than Domino’s Pizza and molten lava cakes… right?

When I was a really young, naieve, stay at home mom I loved Valentine’s Day. I made adorable little cards and gift packaging. I made cute foods. I’m too freaking tired for any of that these days. I’ve been in a complete fog all day. I slept badly last night, but had slept well all weekend. All weekend, I picked up and up and up. My hall closet is almost cleaned out completely. I have a “Transit Box” that needs to be emptied out before I drag out more stuff for sorting.

When I sort, I have the following piles/boxes/bags/whatever handy:

  • Trash.
  • Donate.
  • Transit: The place for this item is not in the room I pulled it from.
  • Return: The place for this item IS the room I pulled it from and will return when everything’s ready to go.

That pretty much covers all of my options and keeps me from leaving too much stuff unhandled. I don’t allow myself to keep sorting if the Transit box is full. Moderation, and yet I’m tired. I couldn’t stop picking up and cleaning no matter how worn out I felt. I felt as if my slowing down would mean the clutter and mess would just double its efforts and come back at me like a Hydra (yes, I’m totally trying to catch up to my son in the Percy Jackson series, how’d you know?). It’s this weird combination of draining and gratifying all at once. I polished up my room in a break from the closet/office and it felt so nice. I demolished some more laundry that I’d neglected the past couple of days. I kept the kitchen in tip-top shape. Despite the chorus in the back of my head reminding me it all comes back somehow, some way, some day. Yes, and no.

As I’ve created it, I’ve also been putting my new Home Office to use as a way to sort of test what works and what doesn’t. My use of the plastic file box has surprisingly gone much better than I’d anticipated. And in my sorting, I found all of my missing tax returns going all the way back to 2003– the day after the transcripts I’d requested from the IRS arrived. I’ve implemented a system to manage the kids’ school papers that’s worked pretty well so far. You never think there’s lots of papers to really deal with, but there’s enough to warrant some sort of management system. Crow, yum. My daughter needed magazines to chop up for a homework assignment and I knew just where to snatch them from– and return them. My son is increasingly curious about Greek mythology (he says he wishes Poseidon was his dad, like Percy) and I remembered I’d owned some books on the topic. I knew just where they’d be, if I’d kept them. And there they were. I was delighted. This whole less is more thing makes a lot of practical sense.

There’s one of me, and three of them. But, because of their ages, really only one is completely capable of managing his own things. Another is pretty capable, even seems to have a natural disposition to doing so in some cases. But, the third is Chaos embodied and a mini reign of terror the other two are either warring against, surrendering to, or gleefully championing with depending on their sundry moods. So really, it evens out to: Me Vs. Them. For now.

Maybe it’s silly of me to place so much stock in the future, but can you blame me? I enjoy the present, I won’t deny that. This weekend, despite a major hiccup early Saturday morning that threatened everything, was as close to bliss as it gets. We had fun– together. But, I know the future likely brings more ease in many ways. There is a major difference in managing a seven year old and a two year old. The seven year old likes to sleep in, read books, and veg out. The two year old, does not. I’m way more seven than I am two. And there’s the whole money thing.

I finished Your Money or Your Life this weekend. It took me longer than I’d anticipated and I don’t know why. I like the book a lot, but I found it very bittersweet. I do believe Financial Independence can happen for me, but many of the steps are simply ones I’m not interested in taking. The “No shame, no blame” mantra is simply one that doesn’t work for me. I was raised by Cuban Catholics, shame and blame are in my blood. Inventorying my possessions, statements of earnings from Social Security, measuring fulfillment month in and month out? I’ll jump off a bridge. But it did make me think a lot and, like me, it believes in giving back to your community upon achieving financial independence. A lot of it just doesn’t seem as tangible as things in Total Money Makeover– not yet at least. I have a feeling I will be returning to Your Money or Your Life in a few years, but right now I have to embrace gazelledom.

The one thing I’ve really taken from it is upping the ante on tracking– especially my income. I’ve been doing that this month and it’s been an eye-opener. I do want to see the whole picture. I’ve been going back through my spending records I’ve been keeping from July and kicking myself for not doing this when I first set out. Yeah, no shame, no blame. Whatevs. But this month has worked that way and I’m glad. I very much like the idea of tracking expenses vs income chart-wise and would like to see that visual representation as I go forward. I tinkered with recreating it but it’s pretty much impossible because of how much I didn’t include previously. If it were accurate, I’d have a lovely cash cushion of about $3k right now and well that’s not true so obviously, there have been major holes in my tracking.

Of course, this all goes beautifully into the update on the No-Spend Month because, in a way, this is the sort of thing that teaches you about fulfillment. Actually, everything I’m going through right now is a very multi-faceted fulfillment lesson so I’m glad I did read YMOYL because that’s one thing it definitely emphasizes that other books skimp on. During this challenge, I’m forced to value every penny. It’s something I could be doing every month and is likely something FIers do. But, it does not come naturally to me, and I’m sure it doesn’t come easily to millions of others out there complaining about so-called Frugal Fatigue. I think the reason this period is so trying and, yes, fatiguing, is because I’m literally re-wiring myself. I’m sitting here and I am learning the art of decision-making on the micro level. Switching off the Auto Pilot is an immense experience and has some really profound implications. That’s why I don’t think many people succeed. That’s why I’m determined to succeed.

If you switch off Auto Pilot on your spending, you have to switch off Auto Pilot on absolutely every facet of your life because money touches everything in one way or another. Think about the effect de-cluttering my home while I’m on a Spending Challenge is having. Here I am, sorting through an overbundance of things while making decisions on what to acquire and what not to acquire. Justifying spending a portion of a very small dedicated amount of money on something you already have in some sort of version is extremely difficult to do. And you know you have so much of it because you’re picking through it all piece by piece, freely letting so much of it go.

The fact that it’s never really done is conflicting. It’s scary in that you understand you have to work at something constantly albeit on a different level of intensity. You know, after going through all of the work to get rid of x number of items from a room, it’s ludicrous to simply go to the store and replace them. And you see the disparities so much clearer than ever before. How does my daughter have almost three drawers’ worth of tops and only one pair of wearable sneakers that are supposed to be used for school only but get used for everything because she has no suitable casual shoes for outside of school? Ditto for Baby although not nearly as many tops. Kids Tops = gazingus pins for me apparently. It makes sense. They’re usually inexpensive, colorful, and whimsical. An adorable top for $3.99 is much easier on the brain to pick up than a good pair of $25 shoes. Duh, Mutant.

Either way, spending was ok over the weekend. Lots of things went out this morning to cover Kid Fundraisers and Extracurriculars ($38). And there was a lunch at McDonald’s for $16.76 with the kids on Saturday after our nightmare morning that was insanely more fulfilling than I’d ever imagined. Total expenses came to $54.76. I’ve got $144.42 and half a tank of gas to go for another 14 days.

6/52: Flowers and Berries

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I have a very pretty Christmas cactus on the window ledge above my sink. Lately, it erupted into a hot pink explosion. It does this every couple of months and is fun to watch. Then everything dies, and it’s just a pretty green cactus until it decides it’s ready to push forth all of its glorious pinkness.

I love having it right above my sink. It makes mundane tasks like decapitating three pints of strawberries a bit more tolerable. My kids go through three pints of strawberries a week, easy. They could probably go through four if there were no other fruity options available to them. These are the latest batch I’d picked up at the farmers market last Saturday. They’re long gone just in time for tomorrow’s market. Although, I just realized I don’t know if I can go since Eldest has the Kids Coping with Divorce class.

Quick Spending Update on the No-Spend Month hosted by Sharon: Since my last update, I had a grocery outing $48.49, miscellaneous spending $12.10, two field trips $26, Valentine’s Day candy $2.88, and replacement earrings for my daughter $21.39. I also had a TON of medical expenses but those don’t count towards this thank goodness and I have my handy-dandy FSA card that I love so much. I also did not include the fees for Eldest’s and my mandated divorce courses $74.95 but they are definitely one more reason to stay close to the downsized budget of $500. My MTD spending is now up to $303.70 which means I’m down to $196.30 for the rest of the month which is kind of scary but, I think, possibly doable.

Oh, happy news. The divorce was filed this week. The court date will probably fall in the next 30 – 60 days. I’m going to be a free woman this year!