Monthly Archives: October 2010

Why You and I Need 10,000 Hours

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I like Wednesdays. They’re right smack dab in the middle of things. You’ve got a few days under your belt and you’ve got just a few more to go. I especially like Wednesdays at the end of the month because I feel like I get to really review the month, start shutting it down, and start prepping for the next one. So, I figure that I should review those goals I’d posted a while ago.

MutantSupermodel Life Goals as of October 27, 2010:

  1. Try the money envelope system September 30, 2010 for three months (December 31, 2010).  I’ve decided to cancel this. I’ve pretty much come up with the equivalent of a money system on Excel and so far this month, it’s actually working. I may have jinxed myself, and I know this, but I feel pretty good about the coming days. 
  2. Create a Christmas budget by October 15, 2010 and stick to it. Must include supplies for gifts to be made which means projects must be decided on. Going to change this to November 12. I have been so busy that I haven’t had a chance to really crack these numbers plus I have a big event next week so I really won’t be able to sit and do this until that passes.
  3. Update the blog at least once a week for the next four weeks (October 22, 2010).  I did it! Yay success!
  4. Complete requested crocheted baby cape by October 27, 2010. Another one that’s going to have to get rescheduled. I think maybe I’ll aim for December 27. I haven’t had much time to work on much crochet projects.
  5. Prepare for a garage sale in late November/early December 2010. Forget it. It’s just not worth it to me right now. Donations will go into effect instead. I’ll schedule a pick up for December 1, 2010.
  6. Commit to another reading project for 2011 and have details worked out by December 15, 2010.
  7. Send Christmas cards Friday, December 17, 2010. I have to figure out what I’m going to do about the photo this year.
  8. Complete MutantEldest’s Mario Bros. blanket by December 25, 2010. I’m pretty sure the deadline will change. I just need to get Christmas done with so I can plan the next batch of projects and include this one.  
  9. Continue tracking spending in Excel for the next four months (January 31, 2011). This is really starting to flow so nicely. My sheet is awesome and I’ve enahanced it to allow me to budget as I would with envelopes. I am loving it.
  10. Go on a family trip in the next six months (March 2011) and a kid-free trip in the six months after that (October 2011). I’m re-invigorated to make this a priority after reading this post from J.D. Roth.  “First, if you’re interested in travel, travel now. Don’t put it off. If travel is a priority, find ways to budget and save to make it happen. Over and over, Kris and I talked with older couples who wished they had started traveling earlier, when they were still more physically active. And when we met travelers our age, they all said the same thing: They consciously choose to sacrifice other luxuries and comforts so that they can travel while they’re young.”
  11. Re-commit to doing laundry every other day for the next six months (March 25, 2011). Still struggling here. And I think I’ve gotten worse the past week with things at work getting very hectic and requiring me to stay late and be a comlpete zombie the time I’m home.
  12. Continue planning Girls’ Night for next six months (April 2011). I have to see if the girls want to get together at the hotel I’ll be at next week.
  13. Lose 12 pounds in 12 months (September 25, 2011). I’m actively trying to eat better especially when I have time. There’s no way I’ll be able to join the program at work but I am still determined to do something. I just noticed I don’t have a scale anymore.
  14. Pay off credit cards by December 2011, one month ahead of schedule.

It’s been over a month since I posted my original goals. I have become keenly aware of how quickly things escape our minds and memory, even goals we “commit” to. I was pretty alarmed to see it’d been over two weeks since I last visited my goals. That’s just too long. It seems the more frequently I visit the goals, the easier it is to keep them in my mind and to draw on them for inspiration when life gets into the lemon bin at the produce section. How do I know I’m not reviewing them often enough? Because it’s been over a month since I came up with them and if you asked me to recite them, I wouldn’t be able to– not even half.

Like lots of things, this gets my mind absolutely whirring. For example, the times I have been really truly successful with my spending have been when I have religiously and meticulously tracked it. This means revisiting my spending not once a week or once a month but at least every couple of days if not every single day. This falls perfectly in line with one of Gretchen Rubin’s keys to keeping resolutions which is to do it every day. I’m even reminded of FLYlady who insists you do the things on her program every day. And then it’s all summed up perfectly by this Radiolab podcast I just listened to last week called “Secrets of Success”. Specifically, Malcolm Gladwell postulates that it takes about 10,000 hours to truly master something.

Do you know how many hours 10,000 is? Well, to start with you only have 8,760 hours in one year so if you’re trying to master something in just one year, you can forget it. Want to master it in only two years? Well you’d better be prepared to dedicate almost 14 hours a day, every day, for two years. According to Gladwell, you’re realistically looking at taking about 10 years to get those 10,000 hours in. Even that’s pretty heavy duty for a normal person– you’re talking dedicating almost three hours a day, every single day for ten years, to something. Now isn’t that sort of a relief?

Really,  just take a minute and think about that. Think about all of those things you beat yourself up for on a constant basis. How many hours do you dedicate to that on a daily basis? How long have you been doing so? Of course, motherhood comes to mind, right? I constantly doubt my mothering skills. I haven’t spent every hour of every day since MutantEldest was born, mothering. I know there are certain people out there that would love to argue otherwise but get real. I’m not mothering every minute of every hour of every day. I don’t dream about mothering every night. Not to mention, when you talk about motherhood, you have to acknowledge the playing field literally changes on an annual basis. Can you really ever truly attain mastery status? What about money? I feel like I’ve been working on my finances for a few years . But every day? A few hours every day? No way. So, it really shouldn’t be a big surprise that I haven’t mastered motherhood or finances just like Gretchen Rubin hasn’t mastered happiness and J.D. Roth hasn’t mastered money. Yes, they are very knowledgeable on their respective topics and years ahead of where I am but masters? I don’t think either would make that claim as they both report having stumbling blocks.

As a matter of fact, the only thing I can pretty confidently say I have dedicated more than 10,000 hours to in my thirtyish years of life is reading. And yes, I do think I’m a master of reading. I devour books whole in very short periods of time. People are often amazed at my ability. They claim I must have a special gift. I don’t. I’m just obsessed with reading. And I’ve been obsessed with reading since I was a small child. You bet I dedicated hours to reading. I read while I walked. I read while I bathed. I read while I ate (or ignored my food more accurately). I read in the car until I got nauseated. I read in bed. I read while I waited. I read between classes. I read every chance I got. So, yes I’m definitely a Master Reader. And the only difference between me and you is a few thousand hours with books.

I really like this theory. In an age where everything is an overnight success, an instant gratification, or an immediate response, we need more reminders to focus on the long-term too. It’s not lost on me that so many hobbies that take an investment of time have been increasingly replaced with activities that don’t require much time from you. But, as in most things, you get what you pay for. Watching television, posting silly videos on YouTube, clicking through Facebook, reading and sending 140 character tweets– they are all effective to a degree  but they also deliver a more shallow level of satisfaction.  

This really invigorates me to contemplate more long-term goals especially as my list is void of anything beyond December 2011– a mere 14 months away. I defnitely don’t have anything 10,000 hours away on there do I? What about you? What would you do with 10,000 hours?

Mother Meets Monster

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It should be a WIP Wednesday update to share with you all. I do have some vague awareness of the calendar despite vigorous attempts otherwise. But, I haven’t had much time to photograph my progress on any projects and the past couple of days I haven’t even done much crocheting.

Instead, Monday and Tuesday were spent dealing with this one.

You see, in the middle of my Monday I got a call from MutantBaby’s daycare informing me he was running a fever of 102. I needed to pick him up immediately. Furthermore, the school had an outbreak of strep throat so I would not be allowed to return him to their care until he got the clean bill of health. And then begins the saga.

With my new job comes new health insurance which handily kicked in the first of this month (hooray). With new health insurance, for the first time ever, comes new doctors. This is actually not a bad thing because I really wasn’t pleased with the pediatricians my kids were with but we’d been with them since MutantEldest was born and so I was relucant to change. Money talks, doctors change. So, I come home with feverish MutantBaby on Monday and call the new pediatricians office and was told to call during regular hours (lunch time). And called back.  And left a message. And waited. And called back. And got the machine again. And called back. And left another message. And was not amused. Someone suggested Urgent Care. But my new insurance plan requires my paying a deductible for Urgent Care. Not interested thank you so much.

Tuesday morning comes and with it some interesting bits of information. It turns out the daycare did not give MutantBaby medicine to reduce the fever (duh) but by the time he was at my house, he was down to 99 degrees. After he woke up from his nap, he was down to the normal 97. The fever never came back. And Tuesday morning began with the really rambunctious Mutant pictured above. Eager to get this over with, I sent the other two to school and brought MutantBaby with me on the train to my office which is next door to the doctor (convenient!).

MutantBaby loved the train. It was so much fun! We went to the doctor’s office and I informed them of my predicament. The very nice lady informed me she was so sorry but they have a strict anti walk-in policy unless a child is very ill and especially as I was a) new and b) clearly not with a seemingly sick child there was not much she could do. I pleaded my case. I told the tale of the many calls. She went to the back where I assume the Nurse of Oz hangs out and announced I could return at 1:15. Oh joy!

I was so proud. I took my little Mutant right next door to my office and showed him off. And then when I was getting ready to bring him to my office which I work in alone, which has soundproof walls and a door which I always close, two very alarmed co-workers stopped me. They informed me there is a very strict policy where employees cannot have their children in the office. But they knew how completely bombarded I’ve been at work with my impending deadline. So we smuggled him in. Things were going well for about an hour. And then MutantBaby pooped. And I was reminded of how miserable I am at being Prepared Mother. Because I had NOTHING on me. Not a wipe. Not a diaper. Not a thing. So I left. MutantBaby and I went back on the train (yay for him), went to McDonalds (yay for him again), went home, changed, ate junk, and went back to the train (yay him one more time). We got to the doctor’s office just before they re-opened. I took him to the water fountains to play and he was so awesomely disobedient I resisted the urge to throw him into one.

But, the time came and we went back to the doctor’s office where he charmed over the entire staff and waiting room by chanting “Hi Lady!” over and over again at the very nice assitant working the counter. In the exam room, he got naked for his weigh-in (27 pounds, 10 ounces) and refused to be dressed again. We compromised and agreed to underwear plus pull-up. We went to the other room for the doctor and he drove me bonkers. While I distracted him with a notebook and pen (best inventions ever in the realm of childcare) I somehow dressed him. When the notebook got old, I drew on the paper thingy on the bed. And the doctor showed up. And went to hear his heartbeat. And he resisted. Then he grabbed it and put it to his ear convinced that’s what she wanted. And was so good. Until she thanked him and moved it to his chest. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was when $h!t blew the f#*k up. The temper tantrum of his lifetime commenced. And did not stop the entire rest of the exam. Did not stop while the doctor updated his chart. Did not stop while I checked out and all the nurses looked at him as if he had sprouted not one, not two, but possibly seven heads. Not out the waiting room. Not down the elevator. Not outside where he proceeded to make a run for the super busy street. Not while I crossed the street holding him like a football because otherwise he kept throwing himself backwards throwing me off my balance. Not until I plunked him on a bench, far from any sort of street, and put him on time out to cool it.

Needless to say, I got home ragged. And defeated. And yet had to figure out how to go out with him again, this time with his sister, to the supermarket. It was mostly ok, with some tough bits (him biting his sister repeatedly being the best one). But I was completely off my rocker when I came home. When I undressed them and he decided the toilet was not suitable for his pee and instead turned and aimed his stream at his sister and all of the clothes on the floor I really had to fight hard with the inner mommy demon. I plunked him in the tub and temper tantrum ensued. I ignored it. Went to the kitchen, mixed sweet tea vodka with lemonade, and began methodically making quesadillas. Somewhere in this mentally checked out state, my dad showed up with MutantEldest from his Karate lesson. MutantEldest begged me to come to karate class on Thursday “please please please” and I obliged. My Dad had already disappeared into the bathroom to work his psychology skills on the tantrum monster. At some point I read the letter of invitation and discovered I had agreed to PARTICIPATE in Karate class. Tomorrow.

My Dad calmed the monster. Things went fine the rest of the night. Until three in the morning. When some dog started barking. And did. Not. Stop. It was 4 in the morning when I called the local police and reported the dog for incessant barking at a god forsaken hour on a weekday. Seriously. It was over an hour. With no stopping in sight. About fifteen minutes after I’d placed the call, I’m pretty sure I heard car doors and a few minutes after that? Silence. Golden. Pure. Silence.

WIP Wednesday

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So I decided to jump on the bandwagon that is the Work in Progress Wednesday thing because I’m on this whole goal making and meeting thing and putting yourself out there is always a good motivation to not fail (fail = epic humiliation = not fun). I’ve begun crocheting Christmas gifts and those have a deadline so I’m determined to see this through to the finish. For one relative, I have begun a smooshy, soft throw using Vanna’s Choice yarn. This thing goes fast. It’s averaging me about 7 minutes a row after taking forever on that first row. I’m exactly a third of the way through this one.

The other thing on the hook is a set of leg warmers for someone who may or may not read this blog. Needless to say, they are so pretty-looking and the yarn is very soft. This pattern in particular is laced up with ribbon for a really pretty look and good fit. I’m excited about them. This pattern in particular has had a super meditative effect on me. Zonks me out completely.

The other WIP is the Monster Cape which I did take a picture of on my actual camera which is sitting in my actual house somewhere. I knew I shouldn’t have tried for anything fancy and just stuck with the phone. Oh well. Three more tentacles to go plus the hat. It. Will. Happen.

In other happenings, things are well. I like to try and make a note of that whenever I realize it because when things turn sour, I tend to just forget that for the most part life is pretty smooth and shiny. It’s true so why pretend otherwise? I work really hard to have a content life, I think I should take a moment and acknowledge that my hard work does indeed pay off for the most part. That’s one thing about this job: there are lots of tiny little fragile reminders of how lucky I am.

MutantEldest is following in his dear momma’s footsteps and turning into a complete and total bookworm. This is being completely encouraged by his daily homework assignment of reading for 15 minutes. He’s absolutely inhaling books. I was reading Phantom Tollbooth to him but it’s hard to do this often because he really likes reading his own things too. It’s just amazing seeing him grow. You know when you’re a kid and everyone’s always freaking out about “Oh my goodness you’re so big!”? And you’re like “Whatever freak”? I understand the freaks! I just looked at MutantEldest the other day and did a double-take. It was as if I was seeing him for the first time in ages. SO big– not just physically but all-around bigness.

Oh, I’m on Facebook! I do hope you’ll come and “like me” on there because that’d be nice. But I also understand if you don’t.

Weekend Update

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Oh darlings what an odd Monday it’s been. And here we are in the 4 o’clock zone. How on earth did that happen I ask you? I am completely sleep deprived. I feel that’s important to note. I may have gotten two and a half hours last night. Naughty. But not because I was being naughty or else I’d be in very high spirits. Boo.

How was your weekend? Mine was quite nice actually. I took the children to the aforementioned gelato place. It was delicious and fun but I couldn’t help feel we overstayed our welcome. Three small children is very overpowering in a small space, FYI. And mine are generally well-behaved but well, one of them IS a two year old and they don’t have high chairs. What do you expect? I tipped GRANDLY. I also sprung for a big breakfast outing the next morning at a genuinely kid-friendly diner by my house that makes the best most giantest pancakes ever. The kids hardly ate. Dear children, when MutantMommy takes you out to eat and pays money for it– eat for the love of god. Especially when it’s spectacularly junky food like pizza, gelato, or chocolate chip pancakes.

Later that day I set about making this most heavenly carnitas recipe with a few tweaks (splashed bitter orange on the pork before salting, then added another bitter orange to the water covering the pork plus substituted cinnamon stick for 1/4 tsp of ground cinnamon and threw in some sliced onions). It smelled like Cuban Christmas Eve in my house. It’s a smell that makes me happy. Amongst the cooking I did some cleaning and picking up and Halloween decorating and watching of The Last Airbender (so cool!) and running amok in the apparently quite neglected park across the street. It was just a very nice day. Until I watched the poor Hurricanes get destroyed by those skanky Seminoles. I guess it’s payback for the abuse my cousin endured at my hands the week before as her precious UF was spanked and pillaged by Alabama.

Yesterday involved more cleaning, a trip to my mom’s house with the children, and a visit from my cousin. I think I’ve decided to not do the garage sale after all. I donated a bunch of big toys to my grand aunt yesterday and I just don’t care to have people milling on my front lawn again haggling the day away. Did I mention MutantBaby gave MutantDaughter a startling black eye by smacking her with the handle part of a play sword? Yes all weaponry was gathered and donated while the children bathed. Sorry kids, we’ll try again in a couple years if you’re still into beating each other senselessly with plastic.

I am addicted to podcasts. My favorite, currently, is This American Life. Which, I strongly suggest listening to “Fear of Sleep” Act 1 if in need of major giggles.

Haze

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The alarm clock scared the heavens out of me. And I seriously had to force myself from my bed. In the shower, I squirted shampoo in my hand and stared at it wondering “What is this pink stuff and what am I supposed to do with it?” It was after I threw on some Beatles on my stereo things changed and I had a pretty efficient morning. Until I pulled in the daycare and realized I’d forgotten not only the diapers they requested but also changes of clothes for MutantBaby who they are attempting to potty train (good luck with that). Then it was downhill and I’ve just been dealing with what can best be described as Mental Mush. I’m having severe issues following any worthy train of of thought for more than a few minutes at a time. So, I think it’s a good time to go over some goals.

MutantSupermodel Life Goals as of October 8, 2010:

  1. Try the money envelope system September 30, 2010 for three months (December 31, 2010). [Um, ok so... this hasn't actually happened. More on this in a bit.]
  2. Create a Christmas budget by October 15, 2010 and stick to it. Must include supplies for gifts to be made which means projects must be decided on. [I started to figure out what projects I'm going to do. Now I have to figure out cost. This week will definitely be budget-oriented.]
  3. Update the blog at least once a week for the next four weeks (October 22, 2010). [So far, so good eh?]
  4. Complete requested crocheted baby cape by October 27, 2010. [Three tentacles done. Three to go plus the hat.]
  5. Prepare for a garage sale in late November/early December 2010. [I am back to being undecided on this. I just really don't want to go through the trouble of selling anything.]
  6. Commit to another reading project for 2011 and have details worked out by December 15, 2010.
  7. Send Christmas cards Friday, December 17, 2010.
  8. Complete MutantEldest’s Mario Bros. blanket by December 25, 2010. [Still not sure about this. I don't think it'll happen by Christmas with all the other projects going. ]
  9. Complete 26 in 2010 project allowing for 5 substitutions (i.e. skipping certain letters) by December 31, 2010. [There's just no way this is happening. I suck at goals!]
  10. Continue tracking spending in Excel for the next four months (January 31, 2011). [Still at it. I have such a fancy sheet too. It can be depressing seeing the money go away.]
  11. Have registration fees ready to be paid by February 15, 2011 so my parents don’t have to pay it again. [I have no idea how to make this happen yet short of a Christmas miracle. And yes I know you're thinking "Duh garage sale" but it's not going to make me anywhere near the $2700 I'll need. ]
  12. Go on a family trip in the next six months (March 2011) and a kid-free trip in the six months after that (October 2011). [If I can't figure out the registration fees how do I expect to do this? This requires priority evaluation.]
  13. Re-commit to doing laundry every other day for the next six months (March 25, 2011). [I am trying, I swear. And while I am definitely not letting it rot indefinitely, I am not doing it every other day either. And I keep forgetting to fold it. And to put it away. All of those steps were part of my original system so why can't I get into the swing of things?]
  14. Continue planning Girls’ Night for next six months (April 2011). [Last one was really fun. The next one may have to be at the hotel I have the convention at.]
  15. Lose 12 pounds in 12 months (September 25, 2011). [There is an interesting program offered here for exercise and weight loss. I'm intrigued but I'm still struggling with the time commitment.]
  16. Pay off credit cards by December 2011, one month ahead of schedule. [Once the registration fee is handled and I've gotten a hang of my new paychecks, I'm going to re-evaluate how much I send the credit card companies and how much more I can throw at them.]

Ok about the envelopes. I hate them, ok? I just freaking hate them. Stupid paper rectanlges of forbidding. Mocking me with their emptiness. Seemingly chanting “Nyah nyah you can’t buy that cause I’m empty cause you’re irresponsible and can’t pace yourself.” That’s what they say about me behind their backs I know it. So I hate them. And I hate going to the ATM and taking out cash too. And then breaking it up into small piles to put into stupid paper rectangles of forbidding.

Know what? I’m not in a great mood at all actually. So I think I’m just going to step away from the blog before I contaminate it with my ugly moodiness.

Getting Crafty With It

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I blame the holidays. That’s the only explanation I have really. That and babies. They’re the two things that make my fingers itch to create. I’ve been toying with crochet a lot the past couple of months. My first project was a flowered scarf for MutantDaughter from the book Happy Hooker.

When I finished it, I was shell-shocked at how fast it’d gone. Since then I’ve made a bun cover for my little ballerina. Actually, two but she only wears the pink one.

 And I also made a little stuffed bunny for my friend’s baby.

I also made my brother’s girlfriend a scarflet because in South Florida a real scarf is sort of a mockery.

And while making these little things, I’ve been working on a monster. My friend made this illustration for their baby shower and after I gave him a gift of a dress I’d knit he asked me what it would take to make a cape like the one in his illustration.

Of course I told him it’d cost nothing, I’m honored to make something like this really. We talked about it and he drew up this sketch to demonstrate what he had in mind. And so it was that a month ago (September 9) I began the cape. And I’m still at it. I have the cape done and two and a half of the tentacles. I think it needs six. The cape was easy peasy. It’s the tentacles that are absolutely killing me.

I have made them insanely long so that they basically reach the floor if you are carrying the baby. I did this so that they would easily drape from a stroller like the illustration, or so they could be entwined around one of the lucky parents when they take their pictures. So, although the desired effect so far is being achieved, it is very tedious going.

Anyways, last night I took a break from the crochet and inspired by several posts and images I’d seen across the internet I made myself a little garland to bring Halloween cheer to my desk using some ancient scrapbook paper stashed from when that was my hobby of choice, a square punch, and some bright craft thread- oh and starry sequins. Because you can’t have a Happy Halloween without a little sparkle.

 Ah flourescent lighting. You’re so romantic.

P.S. WordPress is showing me this is my 100th post. Yay!

Bringing My Childhood to My Children

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After an interesting epiphany this weekend, I have begun to consider some goals for my family life. I really do miss the kids when they’re gone. At first, and I am just not ashamed to say it, I really didn’t miss them. There was simply so much I wanted to do, even if it was doing absolutely nothing, that I welcomed the few days they were off with their father. I mean, I really welcomed those days. Sometimes, I looked forward to them so much, the guilt would start to creep in and the shame. But, I just got worn out so badly when they were with me that every other Thursday I was pretty much useless, highly irritable, and practically distraught. Fridays would often be a complete haze. But, I’ve realized for the past few weeks, this hasn’t been the complete case. Yes, every other Thursday is tough to get through. And every other Friday I am a bit molasses-like. But, I have found myself surprised when it’s been ExMutant’s turn to get them. And then, I think about them all weekend– not so much in a “I wonder what they’re doing now” because that tends to take me down a dark path, but more like “I bet MutantBaby would love this. MutantDaughter would look so pretty in this. MutantEldest would think this is so cool.”

I went to a gelato place  on Sunday that also serves panninis and pizzas. Yes I absolutely swooned over the pepperoni brushetta wondering at the amazing flavor. I struggled to not inhale my proscioutto pannini so fast I wouldn’t completely savor it. I died and went to heaven with every lick of my Bacia gelato cone. And I decided I simply must bring the kids here right away. I fantasized about how my little family and I could become regulars, after all it is oh so close to my house. Surely MutantDaughter’s eyes would bulge at the pink strawberry gelato. And MutantEldest will love the challenge of reading the Italian flavors. And MutantBaby just loves to eat so that’s a no-brainer.

Rewind to Saturday night when my friends and I were talking at Girls Night (a goal I am loving sticking to) about our childhood memories. One said something that jumped at me– “Yeah well it’s the really bad stuff that sticks with you”. That immediately set the Mom Guilt swirling and scolding me for all of those times I’ve lost my patience with my children and been oh so very mean. But then I thought, “Wait a minute. That’s not my experience.” And although I did not directly contradict my friend, I did share my own random memories from childhood and what struck me from them was how ordinary they were. While I do remember some not-nice things, my memories are far from being all not-nice. I remember a lot of fun things actually, mostly fun ordinary things like: 

  • I remember playing in the yard with the sprinklers and hose.
  • I remember playing pranks on my brothers, especially the middle one.
  • I remember how my grandfather’s (my Dad’s side) work van had no seats in it and we’d “surf” in it while he swerved all over empty streets to knock us down.
  • I remember playing Pirates on my brothers’ bunk beds when there was a thunderstorm outside.
  • I remember playing hot lava in their room and scrambling across the tops and sides of the furniture in a hilarious attempt to not touch the molten lava floor.
  • I remember my Dad taking us to TCBY or Baskin Robbins for ice cream.
  • I remember sleepovers at my grandparents on my Mom’s side so my parents could have date nights.
  • I remember my parents piling us in the car every night so they could go and get their Cuban coffee at the window of the cafeteria while we went absolutely wild all over the car.
  • I remember reading books everywhere I could prop myself up– in a tree in the front yard, in my bed, on the sofa, against a door frame.
  • I remember my parents would go to a regular meeting for couples and we’d get to play with the other couples’ kids.
  • I remember my grandmother on my Dad’s side teaching us table etiquette at McDonald’s.
  • I remember how we’d all help my Mom clean the house on the weekends and it was actually fun.
  • I remember my grandfather on my Mom’s side telling us fairy tales and riddles in Spanish and marvelling at how different they sounded.
  • I remember my dad taking us to McDonald’s for breakfast or Happy Meals later in the day.
  • I remember all the road trips we took with our pop-up camper, then our larger pop-up camper, and finally a trailer.
  • I remember sailing on my grandfather’s boat.
  • I remember my Mom teaching me to match and roll socks together and that being my favorite chore to do.
  • I remember how we’d crash Hot Wheels cars down the hallway.
  • I remember my grandmother on my Mom’s side fitting me with dresses and being so excited about a new dress but so worried a pin would pinch me.
  • I remember making brownies and truffles with my Mom.
  • I remember my baby brother sneaking into my room to sleep with me, or at least on the floor next to me.
  • I remember my Mom sleeping with me when I was sick.
  • I remember when my Dad would go on retreats, we were allowed to sleep in their bed with my Mom.
  • I remember when he wasn’t on retreats, we’d jump all over them on the weekends in the morning.
  • I remember my Dad making us smiley faced chocolate chip pancakes. Or sometimes he’d spell our initial.
  • I remember him making us eggs in a basket.
  • I remember learning to ride a bike and the crash into a shrub that upset me greatly and made me give up but then returning and the thrill of figuring it out.
  • I remember trips to the roller rink and the bowling alley.
  • I remember going out to family dinners at places like Red Lobster and Sizzler.
  • I remember playing Barbies with my youngest brother and that many times it was at his insistence, not mine.
  • I remember crayons and watercolors, my Lite Brite and Colorforms.
  • I remember the ice cream truck.
  • I remember sticking our plastic pool at the bottom of our swing set’s slide and hooking the hose onto the slide to create our very own water slide.
  • I remember when I graduated from Kindergarten, my parents took me to Pizza Hut and my mother presented me with a gift of Beatrix Potter’s Peter Rabbit board books.

I am very fond of the childhood I had. Now that I’m a parent, I’m able to appreciate that my parents gave me such a great childhood. And I want so badly to be able to do the same for my kids. See, I grew up experiencing first-hand that great adventures didn’t require fancy destinations or even airplanes. I experienced a childhood mostly without cable television as my mother hated it. I remember going to the movies but it was a big deal when we went– not a regular thing. I remember excursions to Lionel and Toys R Us as even rarer occasions but oh how thrilling to come home with a new Barbie or My Little Pony. When I reflect on my childhood, I really do see it as a simple and happy one. And that is all I want for my kids.

I think the key to this is not the cost of an experience but rather the frequency of it. That seems to be the key to my memories. There is a healthy mix of ritualesque memories and special occasion ones too and even though the special occassions were hardly out-of-this-world types of things, my parents did a good job of making it clear they were special occasions. So I’m going to try and make some sort of goal, or set of goals, to consciously bring a piece of my childhood into my children’s lives in a natural, simple way.